E

       Each man makes his own prison

 Each Man Makes His Own Prison

The consciousness of living in eternity

Expands a man's horizon; gives him room

In which to stretch his mind: and as a tomb

Confines no living spirit, so a cell

Is ample space to compass Heaven - or Hell

     

Dorothea Spears


               Ear to Ground

 I put my ear to the ground.

Dear God! What a vital coming and going of sound!

What a growing up and a growing down and a flowing round

And a saying of unimaginable things both shallow

And profound!

Voice from every kingdom excitedly speak

Of what goes on under the ground every day, every week:

Voices loud and arrogant and proud and gentle and meek-

I’d no idea of the ventures that abound

Beneath the ground,

Such births and deaths and rooting and shootings and sleep

And waking, and holding of breath and deep

Inscrutable transmutations that creep

Of clamour, swift or slow –

The things that go on under the ground that we don’t know!

I put my ear to a keyhole in the atmosphere

And drew it away quickly for all the things that I could

Not bear to hear,

Lest I be drowned in the sudden accession of sound that

Assailed my ear,

Shaken and shattered by the unseen unheard vibrations

Of all the world, elations and desolations, and the voices

Of planets and of nations-

God be thanked for our mortal limitations!


Earthbound

The moon is full to-night: the world gleams white

And silver in her scintillating light.

How cold she is! How beautiful and proud!

And in the sky one narrow, lonely cloud.

Of all the world the cloud alone is near;

All else is far away. I dimly hear

The city’s breath below, and heaven’s reply.

But faint and far, and sounding like a sigh.

Here alone I keep silent tryst with night,

Like yonder cloud, that pauses in its flight

Half way ‘twixt heaven and earth, and longs in vain

To clasp them both, in ecstasy of pain:

So I, held by the beauty of your love,

Clinging to earth, raise longing eyes above.

 

Dorothea Graham Botha

The Epworth Press

1925


                      Easter at Dawn

 At dawn, within the quiet of my room,

My spirit rose, and went unto the tomb

Where my dead hopes, dead loves, dead dreams were

Laid.

Nor went I alone, but unafraid

For in this Blessed Easter dawn I knew

That I should find the Easter message true –

In empty tomb, in presence fain to bless –

There is no death for any loveliness!

 

 

UBI VADIMUS

 

Glory that was Greece;

Glory that was Rome;

Glory that is Washington –

(Marble Column, gilded dome)

Some far day will these be one,

Stone unleft on stone?


                Eastertide

 This joyful Eastertide

What need is there for grieving?

Cast all your cares aside

And be not unbelieving:

 

Come, share our Easter joy

That death could not imprison,

Nor any power destroy,

Our Christ, who is arisen!

 

No work for him is in vain,

No faith in him mistaken,

For Easter makes it plain

His Kingdom is not shaken:

 

Then put your trust in Christ,

In waking or sleeping:

His grace on earth sufficed;

He’ll never quit his keeping.


 

                Ebb and Flow

 The fruitless period’s not to fear, my friend :

Receding sap should not be forced to flow.

For there are times to rest and times to grow,

A time to fashion and a time to mend.

And there’s a time—could man but comprehend

The law of cycles he would surely know—

There is a time to stay, and a time to go,

A time for a beginning and an end.

The moon that wanes and waxes, and the sea

That tenses and relaxes; day and night

Forever cycling into dark and light;

They know, they know their periodicity,

The rhythmic breathing of eternal might,

The mortal use of immortality.


                             Eden

 Stay. Spring the while I sing the praise

In honey words of halcyon days,

or beauty burgeoning in trees

Of blossom bearing rapsodies;

Or beauty bursting from the earth

In unpremeditated mirth:

Of beauty breaking through the sod

In reminiscences of God;

And how, when beauty first began

The Garden was the home of Man

To which he'll never lose the chart

Who keeps a garden in his heart.

     

Dorothea Spears


                Eighteen Years

             (Armistice 1918-1936)

 A Voice from those who went.

Eighteen years. Dear God, how short a time

To have forgot so much!

…To have forgot the clutch

Of terror at our throats… forgot the slime

Of vermined trenches…

Of rotting bodies.. the dragging mud

Of Flanders… and the poppies, red

Where comrades joined the dead

In sleep… Forgot the stickiness of blood

On face and hands … forgot the dreaded suspense

Of waiting, breathless, for a crimson day

To mark the zero hour

Too proud to cower

But vividly alive in every sense

To suffer…to be cold…And then, the fray –

The burning shell, the carnage, and the gas –

The awful, choking fear

That made death seem more dear

Than life… the limbless, faceless, forms to pass

Cold, repelled and sickened to the core –

We have forgot the awfulness of war.

 

A Voice from those who stayed.

Eighteen years. We have forgot so much…

The agonising fear

For those that were most dear…

The hopeless longing for the unforgotten touch

Of hands that were outstretched, and clasped by Death…

The bitter-sweet of leave

That all too short reprieve

From fear… Forgot the lists…the bated breath…

The wounded, and the limbless, and the blind …

Disease that took its toll

of body, and of soul…

Forgot the burning agony of mind…

The sleepless vigils…And the silent door

Waiting the touch of one who came no more.

In Unison

Eighteen years. The wounds are staunched that bled…

We have forgot the vows we made our dead…

We have forgotten all that went before

And prattle glibly of “another war!”


                            Eloquence

 The multi-coloured English words that flower

From alien root or from indigenous stem

To challenge Time or grace the passing hour

What beauty can be fashioned out of them!

The common words men pluck and toss away

Idly as children on a daisied hill

Gathering an ephemeral bouquet:

The gracious words arranged with practised skill

The stately words the sonorous words men use

Or classic sheaves exotic words to set

In bridal wreaths −  with such a wealth to choose.

What beauty can be wrought from words! And yet..

More eloquent than any verbal spray

Are rain-wet roses on an April day

 

Dorothea Spears.

 

                            Empiric

 What does it matter? I am as conscious of living in eternity

As you are conscious of the house of brick and wood and stone

In which you think you dwell;

And this brief carapace of flesh and blood and bone

That seems to occupy a certain place in space

I know is but a temporary shell

To be inhabited improved, and put-away

You say “I see: therefore I know” of wood and stone and brick.

I say “I come: I go” and there's the trick

Of immortality . . .

And who can specify the length of a day

Or separate the contiguity of far and near,

The relativity of false and true?

My evidence is as empirical to me

As yours to you.

Should one born deaf repudiate the thing he cannot hear,

Or blind, deny existence to what he cannot see?

 


                End of August, Constantia

For a moment the night listens, and all is still.

And then you hear the wind coming

Softly, softly at first, and far away,

Humming; and trace his gathering pace

Filling the troubled air with turbulence,

And the trees waving bare arms in his face;

Threatening to force the windows,

Lift the roof, and strip the garden.

But nothing happens… Then

You hear him muttering down the road

And all is hushed until he comes again –

Suddenly, blustering, vain.

Another silence… Then

The deafening deluge of winter rain!

At daylight you open the blind, fearfully,

Thinking to find the garden all forlorn

After the fury of the storm.

And there are unbowed daffodils

Full of sun …

 

Airlie Close

Constantia, C.P.


                      Endurance

I cannot bear it … Looking at the world

From my carapace of time and place

Through shifting consciousness with changing light

Constantly shattering the flaming white

Of God to a multiplicity of vibrations

That shakes the Universe to its foundations

Wherein the spectrum dances like a dervish –

Where find healing, which is making whole,

For the universal body, mind and soul

Of which I, an infinitesimal part

Am whirled beyond the endurance of the heart.



                   England and Rest

England again; and English fields

              Of gold and green:

White daisies gleaming in the grass,

              And buttercups between.

England again: and English streams

              That murmer low.

How oft’ I’ve seen it in my dreams!

              The daffodils a-glow-

While sitting on the sultry stoep;

              The brown veld by

a-simmer in the summer sun,

              strident -harsh and dry.

By dusty, dried-up river beds

       Of hateful heat

I’ve dreamed of English brooks and lanes

       Soft-scented, cool and sweet.

Where flaming aloes flaunt their pride

              With scarlet wing

I’ve dreamed of May-buds opening

              Away in English Spring!

And now Old England clasps me close

              Against her breast.

And in her arms, so soft and dear,

              At last have I found rest.

 

                  Ephemera

 Bewailing Time which taketh all away,

“This thought is as a death which cannot choose ”

The poet cried in passionate dismay,

“But weep to have that which it fears to lose.”

Aye, there you have it, Shakespeare, truly there

Your intuition points the hovering ghost;

You put your finger on man’s great despair

That makes a mockery of his proudest boast—

The evanescent quality that bides,

 A gnawing fear; within the rarest stone

The hidden flaw; the spectre that derides

The thing that man most proudly calls his own.

Yet he’ll not see the clue to happiness

 Lies not in owning more, but craving less.


                Eternal Encounter

If I should meet a Master of the Wisdom face to face;

If I should meet the Christ Himself in form –

I should not curtsy nor stand afar off.

I should take His Hand eagerly and say

“Will you come and take tea with me in my room with the

Beautiful view?”

And when He was coming I should play the second movement of Mozart’s Clarinet Quintet

And flood the room with music and with light

And open all the doors that give upon the valley.

And when He came I should not think to genuflect...

I should hold out both my hands, and He would embrace me with His eyes and fold me in His Aura.

So we should enter together my room with the beautiful view

And the light and the music, and the door open to the valley…

It would be more beautiful than I ever knew.


“Veritas”

Constantia, C.P.


Eternal Loneliness

Is there no thing that is not lonely, dear?

Although my soul is so attune to thee

               That I am vibrant with the melody

          Of thy sweet soul, yet can I never hear

The deepest strains that vibrate full and clear

                Completing that ethereal harmony

That is thyself. Some inmost ecstasy

Must still escape my listening soul’s keen ear.

         Some part of thee and me must still remain

               Forever mute, immensurate, above

                Expression.  Even while I hold thee near

         Our lonely souls strive to unite in vain.

              In all this radiant world of light and love

              Is there no thing that is lonely, dear? 

II

Is there no thing that is lonely, Sweet?

This tiny grain of corn within my hand

Too mighty is for us to understand:

So tiny, yet profound enough to cheat

The learned world’s encompassing conceit,

That knows, yet knows not how, it doth expand

And fill with verdure all the barren land

Until its humble mission is complete.

This seed of corn, so dormant and so dull, so like another, in its heart doth hold

That is cannot impart. The grain of wheat

Becomes at length a harvest bountiful

But it still harbours secrets never told:

Is there no thing that is not lonely, Sweet?


III

Is there no thing that is not lonely, Love?

The soaring eagle seeking out his mate,

The tiny sparrow, hopping from his plate

To tempt the tit-bit from thy outstretched glove;

The timid but desirous cooing dove,

Each holds within his heart some secret gate

That cannot be unlocked, some love or hate

That none may know as high he wings above.

So every bird is lonely, every song

Inadequate to vent his longing heart;

Alike the lilting lark and cooking dove

Must carry to his death the passion strong

That he would fain unto the world impart:

Is there no thing that is lonely, love?


IV

Is there no thing that is lonely, Dear?

The rose, creation of consummate art-

The busy bee that valiantly doth start

To sip the nectar sweet, bold privateer,

Shall ne’er gain all, though long he persevere.

Nay, ruthless each fragrant petalt par

Yet unrevealed is still that passioned heart,

And though has only spoilt what hast no peer

In all the world no rose blooms duplicate;

In all the world no insect that can lure

The rose’s radiant secret, nor no seer

However wise, that can emancipate

Unto the world that perfume sweet and pure:

Is there no thing that is lonely, Dear?


V

Is there no thing that is not lonely, Fair?

That haunting bar of melody that aches

And cries with longing unexpressed, and breaks

To silence in a paean half despair

Because we cannot understand nor share

Its ecstasy; the canvas that awakes

High thoughts of happiness, it still partakes

The common fate, nor can express it there.

Here’s loneliness eternal, Heart of mine,

In thee and me, in Melody and Art,

In Nature, every seed that breaks the sod:

Here’s loneliness incarnate- and divine.

For ah, least understood of all, Dear Heart,

And the loneliest of all, is -God


                 EUCHARIST AT ST. ANDREWS
                                          or Anywhere

When we, prepared, have shared the bread and wine,

And knowing ourselves to be at odds with none

Have taken together the Sacrament divine -

Are we not conscious of becoming one?

Surely the warmth of fellowship must flow

Unhindered through this fame will regain

A breath of eternity in Now, and know

For a moment a touch of the joy that hallows pain.

I want to smile with every sister and brother,

Rejoicing in the kinship thus begun -

How can we be strangers to one another

Having supped together as we have done?

But alas, I feel the brethren might take it amiss
Were I to greet them with a holy Kiss


Thes 5.26 Romans 16.16 ICor,16.20 II for.13.12

Peter 5.4


                  Ever Since Eden

 “The woman that Thou gavest me –

‘Twas she – she bade me eat

The fruit of that forbidden tree.”

Said Adam looking at the Lord reproachfully.

And Eve stood, looking at her feet,

Penitent and sweet,

And said “The serpent beguiled me,”

Very softly. And the serpent smiled,

Knowing that it would always be the same

While woman is woman and man is man…

Somebody has to take the blame.

 

Airlie Close

Constantia C.P.

 

            Every Idol Is Made of Clay

 When your idol tumbles from its pedestal,

When the feet of clay crack,

Don’t keep trying to patch it up

And put it back.

Accept it as it is, imperfect, marred –

Love need not be blind –

It may be dearer, the honest idol scarred,

For love is kind.

 

Airlie Close

Constantia C.P.


                     Experientia Docet

The bard divined that all the world’s a stage

Whereon we mortal men and women play

Our various roles… a comedy…today

Tomorrow, tragedy…and take our wage

At curtain-fall, and turn another page

And con another part, or grave or gay

Or big or small. Experience is the way

The actor learns his craft, from age to age.

 

What matter the character of the current part?

To sense the Author’s purpose for the whole,

Perfecting our performance with each role,

Assisting actors with less stalwart heart –

Through stern experience we gain the goal,

Achieve at last the mastery of the Art.

 



 

 

 




 

 

 

 

 

 

© Rosalind Spears 2021