N

         Namaskar  (For LF)

“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart

And soul and mind

And thy neighbour as thyself.”

“Herein”, she said, “is my religion summed.

And every morning when the bud of the day

Uncloses to the sun

I greet divinity in me

With reverence, that will illuminate the way

I tread and keep my spirit free

Of fleshly bars, that I may see the stars

When night has closed the perishable flower

Of day… I greet divinity in you…

And you… and you…whatever be the hour

Or place wherein we meet.”

She didn’t say

The words aloud. I knew

She said them silently.

And though she seldom spoke the name of God

I saw the people blossom where she trod.


Veritas,  Constantia, C.P.



              Nancy

Nancy-

How you charm the fancy!

In your laughter, soft and low,

Little ripples come and go.

By what necromancy

Nancy,

Do you chain our fond hearts so?

I do not even know

The colour of your tender eyes.

I only know a fair soul lies

In depths below,

That never dies.

 By what necromancy,

          Nancy,

Do you bind the fancy so?


            Narcissi in autumn

Picking narcissi in the Autumn breaks

A pattern . . .   makes awry

The symmetry of the seasons

We set our calendars by;

Takes away an accent, a design,

A known perfection;

Severing the intimate connection

Between the interlocking pieces of our days;

Altering some necessary line,

Some potent phrase

Of Winter, or of Spring:

Making the shaken year an unfamiliar thing.

 

Dorothea Spears


             Native Paths

       (Portuguese East Africa)

Coconut palm, and baobab, and night…

A full moon flooding the grove with deceptive light:

Hidden insects chanting their nightly psalm

While darkness runs to cover behind each palm.

…The shadows lengthen into infinity…

Hush! Cower low in the quivering grass!

Along this winding way the trinity

Of the ages, merged in one, forever pass:

Today… Tomorrow…Yesterday… are one

The ageless ghost of Time goes ever on,

Unseen… unheard… moving the dusky pawns

Across the chequered squares of nights and dawns

Fighting his battles with consummate skill,

Checking the king of black and white at will.

 

 

 

…Cower low… Fate is sinister here…

The ebon figures, shod with awful fear,

Creep through life from dark to haunted dark,

From shadow into shadow, leave no mark:

Son follows sire and, passing, leaves no trace

Upon the naked majesty of this lone place –

Save where these paths in questing terror wind

Binding the years ahead and countless years behind.


                Nativity

Far had I wandered over land and sea

Seeking and seeking for the Son of God,

Longing to witness His nativity,

Searching the paths where long ago He trod

And finding nothing there but history

And lovely tales to spin a hope upon:

Alas, the Presence and mystery

Had vanished, and the peace of God was gone.

And as I meditated in deep grief

That He was not where erstwhile He had been

There came a voice across my unbelief-

O Traveller, turn your eyes within, within!

 

And lo, within my heart’s prepared shrine

The eyes of Christ were smiling into mine.


             NEIGHBOURS                                          

What do they talk about when they meet

Over the top of the high brick wall.

The scarlet rose on your side

The tall sweet peas on mine

As Spring and Summer and fall

Succeed each other in the year's design.

Does each rose as it comes and goes

Tell your Border how my garden grows,

Or laugh a little, kindly, at you and me?

I see them nodding to each other

Whenever the wind blows

(And that is almost every day

Where the Solent slips to the sea)

But what do they say, I wonder?

Now it is nearly November, and ever since June

Successive blooms have bowed

In friendly fashion ever the weathered bricks,

Beautiful, fragrant, proud.

They have seen so many blossoms

Bloom, and pass to be replaced

By other flower faces; seen the grass

And trees altering their range of greens

As the seasons change and pause and pass.

And will your rose miss my sweet peas

When the first frost brings them to their knees?

 

Dorothea Spears


       Nella Via Vecchi, Perugia

Every morning I walk along this street.

I may not understand what the people say

But I can understand the flowers I meet

And pass the time with, smiling, day and day,

Blossom tree and tulip and daffodil,

English lilac, and stocks, and pansy faces.

And then the iris, and after, the roses spill

Their colour and scent from unexpected places

Along my way to the halls of learning where

Myself and fellow foreigners aspire

To conquer the Bella lingua, trace to its lair

The spirit of Italy, earth and water and fire.

People struggle with pronouns, conjunctions, verbs

But pictures and music and flowers need no words.


          Never quite the same

Nothing is ever quite the same twice.

No word is complete in itself, nor any note

Of music sung or played or heard, nor day,

Nor hour, nor moment . . . nor the song of a bird:

And certainly not people, certainly not

An individual subject to the play

Of ambient energy and ray and thought:

Every image is impinged upon

By other images, unsought and caught,

And what it says to us today and here

And now and in this set of circumstances

It may not say to us tomorrow.

Because no thing is complete in itself: no thing

But is a changing synthesis between

Beholder and beheld, hearer and heard,

And time and place and circumstance unforeseen,

And the fall of the dice . . .

Nothing is ever quite the same twice.

 

Dorothea Spears


      Never say always

Always and never are long words.

We should be careful how we say

Always and never

When we really only mean today.

Always and never are strong words

With power to bind or serve:

They are words with which to play.

Take care . . . take care

How you flight them through the air

Lest they go forth and slay.

     

Dorothea Spears


         New days, new ways

The things we want to say to-day

Will not confine themselves in measured lines

And metered rhymes the way

They used to do in other times.

Old bottles will not hold the new wine:

The old colours and designs

And forms cannot portray

What modern artists would convey.

Is it that our thought

Is so much deeper, broader, higher

That it can only be caught by gods

And bought by fire?

And yet -

The same old acorn holds the oak;

The stars their courses run,

And suns rise and set

As they have always done,

And night wears the same cloak

 

Dorothea Spears


            New England Fall

                 (Vermont, 1963)

The palette Nature uses on these hills

The colours Nature chooses, mixes, spills!

What mortal mind would think to juxtapose

These vibrant notes, what mortal could transpose

Andante summer with its gravely green

And flowing movement, gracious and serene

To Autumn's singing scherzo when the mutes

Are laid aside and all the soaring flutes

And fiddles in a tutti passage cry

In notes of vibrant colour rising high

And higher to a sky of cold blue

In passionate crescendo, hue on hue

And hill on hill of flaming prismed light.

Oh Sun, sink softly now; come gently, Night.

That heart and head forever may recall

The memory of this New England fall.

 

Dorothea Spears


         New Fashion

Our beautiful, beloved Cape

Is being cut to a different shape:

We must wear it so, or go

In search of another that will not smother

The innate love we have for the mother

Of many children, who bade them grow

Together, and for the love of the land

To serve, to share, and to understand?

The coat of many colours is rent –

Can we who have worn it, be content

With the new untraditional way

Design decrees we must follow today?

 

Airlie Close

Constantia C.P.


            New Tenant

But yesterday, it seemed that Summer’s lease

Upon the land had many a day to run.

Her arrogant overseer, the lordly Sun,

Proclaimed no imminent intent to cease

Imperious demands for Earth’s increase:

Such flowering and fruiting to be done,

It seemed, before a respite could be won!

And Summer countenanced no rash caprice.

 

But suddenly, as if ‘twere overnight,

The great Sun’s power has waned: before his face

The clouds play hide-and-seek; the wild leaves race;

And Summer’s retinue has taken flight.

Earth’s tempo slows, as Autumn storms the place

And splashes colour, with reckless delight!


         Night on the Karroo

Wearied by suns that are too bright,

Bruised by the violence of light

The tired earth lays its aching head

Against the bosom of night.

And so is comforted.

 

Oh, agony of tortured earth

Uneased by rain…

Oh, agony of tortured mind whose eyes

No tears can find

To alleviate the unendurable pain…

Be kind to them, dark skies.

And stars be kind.

 

Veritas

Constantia C.P


           Night Walker

How quickly clouds arise . . . Stars are bright

And vividly real and intimate, night after night

The friendly eyes of universe revealed.

Then suddenly . . . suddenly heaven is concealed

And all the steady world of stars hidden.

Doubt drifts in across the brows, unbidden.

The claustrophobic spirit beats in vain

Against the creeping, closing walls of pain

And yet, within some central self, is sure

The hidden verities must still endure,

Knowing that every cloud that hides the sky

Is born of earth, not heaven, and passes by

     

Dorothea Spears


         Nights Of Cape November

These are the evenings that my heart remembers,

Soft, but not cloying, infinitely still

When all the ghosts of all the dead Novembers

In passionate fragrance through the night distill;

With honeysuckle, broom and privet laden,

And scent of roses, perishingly sweet,

The earth’s deep incense to the Blessed Maiden,

And youth’s first love, surpassing pure and fleet.

Like waves the silent fragrance surges round

To bear me upwards on perfumed tide,

To carry me, I know not whither-bound

To what dim Lethe, what Avalon, to bide.

 

Across the world, nostalgic, I remember

The still and perfumed nights of Cape November.


            No Autumn in the Cape

He said there is not Autumn in the Cape.

Yet day-long Autumn nudges me to say

“Look quickly. Look! For I shall be away

So soon when blustering Winter comes to rape.

With boisterous breath from which is no escape!”

The smoke from the leaves that were beauty yesterday

Hangs in the air like incense when men pray…

Lines gold and scarlet line the valley shape.

Constantia knows Autumn, and Tokai,

She interrupts the days that I have planned

A score of times to seize my willing hand

And bid me share her ecstasy, her high

Wild ecstasy that goes so swiftly by –

But city dwellers would not understand.

 

 24.6.53


        No Beaulieu Now

Is there a corner in the world to-day

Wherein a man can say “I am secure”?

Within this changing world can he be sure

Of any value fashioned out of clay

Although he call it granite? Come what may

While manifested matter may immure

Is there a single mould that must endure

Beyond Atlantis, when the blind betray?

How vain is man, indeed, who boasts in fight

Or trusts in flight or fancies flesh immortal.

Who thinks to check and mate relentless Fate.

Now sanctuary is profaned by might.

Now safety sleeps behind no earthly portal:

And only Heaven is inviolate.

 

(Beaulieu was one of the Abbeys where once men could find inviolable asylum – a sanctuary.

 

10.2.61


             No Bells in England

The Bells – the bells of England – they are dumb.

Round all the shires the spires in silence pout.

The joyous bells, the bells that bade men come

From valleys miles away, no more ring out

The call to prayer, nor waft the passing soul,

Nor hymn the bridal pair: each iron tongue

Hangs silent… Better so … since now their toll

Can tell but terror, let them rest unrung.

 

Poor bells… poor silent bells that, wrought for praise,

Must hold their tongues: sad hills that may not know

The dear familiar sound, except to warn

Of alien feet upon their English ways…

Be silent, then ye brazen throats…But oh!

The ghostly silence of the sabbath morn!


          No Common Day

This life's no common day.

Events are vast, and moving fast

To some denouement not so far

And he who understands

The present and the future and the past

Can take tomorrow in his hands

And enter it with open eyes at last.

          

Dorothea Spears

5.7.61


          No Escape from Humanity

It's no use. It's no use at all.

I thought to ride the winged steed of the storm,

To take at a single leap the mountain wall

And jump the ocean,  forgetting  the common form.

I thought to ride for the space of a furious night

Across the windswept leagues of the rugged sky,

Drunk with the glorious ecstasy of flight,

And watch the whirling planet hurtle by

But now I know there's no escape from the pain

Of the common Body I share with my fellow men

And while one suffers I seek to fly in vain

And am drawn to earth again and again and again.

It's no use. It's no use at all:

There's no escape from the common Body’s call

 

Dorothea Spears


            No Heel Taps?

Some men may drink of power and still be sane

For some there are can carry liquor well,

While some become innocuous and inane,

But some are dangerous: and who can tell,

Without experiment, how each reacts?

Of him who turns aggressive and would force

His own opinions on the world of facts

Beware, lest the dementia runs its course

And you who filled and still refill his glass

Yourself dare not oppose the inebriate will

That bids you to your knees when he would pass,

Becoming ruder as he drinks his fill.

Before you let a fellow quaff it quicker

Be sure he has a head to carry liquor.


           No Imminent Millennium

There is no hope, men being as they are,

Enslaved by transient happiness and sorrow,

Illumined by no constant guiding star,

That the Millennium will be drawn tomorrow.

There is no hope, men being as they seem

Self-seeking and a prey to greed and fear

(Though more and more have glimpsed the greater dream)

That peace and brotherhood are very near.

There is no hope of synthesis while men

Pursue the goal of separation still:

Regardless of experience raise again

Old barriers in their arrogant self-will.

But here’s the question we must face today −

Proceed we toward fulfillment, or away?

     

Dorothea Spears


             No Loneliness

To listen to beautiful music, for some, is prayer.

And there are some who cannot see a flower

Opening to perfection but the Power

That fashioned it is manifested there.

All things but serve to make them more aware

Of Him in Whom they live Whose earthly dower,

Inherited, makes rich each passing hour,

Forever conscious of the Life they share.

 

For such Communion is no rare sacrament.

They eat and drink of Him by day and night,

Though they may fill no fane with urgent pleas.

With poverty or wealth they are content

And tear is powerless to dim their light;

Life holds no loneliness for such as these.

 

Dorothea Spears


              No Magic

Not now . . not here, no longer . . .

No place in space today

For the young of heart, the dreamer

Who cannot pay his way.

Our babes are tricked and torn

From Fairyland at birth,

And Samson's early shorn,

Conditioned to Mammon's earth.

Deterred the unheard bird,

The bluebird, hastened the weaning,

And lost the hidden word

That gave the world a meaning.

We barter the beauty unspoken.

The token, for what can be said;

And baffled, we blunder, are broken.

And wonder that wonder has fled.

 

Dorothea Spears


               No Songs Now

I fashioned a sanctuary out of silence

And darkness and unbonded time,

Between the third mile post and the dawn,

A refuge from all danger and all anger,

A shelter from the day

With space in time to dream and meditate, and pray,

And listen…

It was here I met my Muse, and heard

The songs, and sought to capture them in words

To share with other men

Before they were distilled in space again,

Assured of solitude to match her mood.

 

Alas! I cannot keep at bay

These latest supplants. Too many seek

A sanctuary now,

And I cannot escape their deep despair

Pressing against the very air

I breathe grieving for their despair.

How can I be at peace? How

Can I fashion a sanctuary now?

Too many tragedies in this Group Area,

My brother’s blood is crying from the ground

He cannot own.

The wheel goes round and round.

And how can I atone

For all these Mrs Mapheeles and Mrs Sisulus

Who will not leave me alone?

There is nothing that I can do for their sake,

Who gave my heart to this country…to break.

 

“Veritas”

Constantia, C.P.


                      No Tears

(For Eileen Popkiss. Hon Secretary C.T.Deaf Association, Council for the Aging, etc,etc)

I have no tears to shed for you, my friend;

Only a thanksgiving that the cold

Of winter will not find you growing old

Alone, and that you will not have to bend

Your independent spirit to depend.

For you would rather always give than hold.

And serve than be served, being cast in that mould.

You were permitted to serve to day’s end.

 

Fulfilment holds no tragedy. Only those

Who have not earned the liberty of death

Should fear the tolling of its friendly knell;

Never the bud fulfilled in the blown rose;

Never the life fulfilled by the spent breath.

No tears to shed… farewell, old friend. Fare well!

 

Veritas, Constantia, C.P.


           No time to spare

“Take from seventy years a score.

It only leaves me fifty more

And fifty years are little room”

He said. “to look at things in bloom.”

But what when three score years are spent

Of all the years that life has lent?

Then surely it were waste to sleep

On nights like this, and fail to keep

The tryst with winter's silver moon

That we must bid farewell so soon,

Or miss on this, or any day

A breath of beauty by the way.

There is not any time to spare

Upon an earth so fair, so fair -

So many beautiful things to see

Before, for us, they cease to be.

 

Dorothea Spears


             Nor’ West Wind

Two nights I heard him creeping

Before the dawn was grey,

When all the rest were sleeping…

He came to spy the way…

 

Trying all the latches

To find where he could pry;

Fingering the catches –

I heard him going by.

 

But last night he came boldly,

Came shouting down the lane,

Blowing long and coldly,

And brought the Winter rain!

 

The brown leaves flew before them:

He whirled them round and round

And into tatters tore them

Before they reached the ground.

They danced upon them madly,

And whipped the naked trees

And through them dirged most sadly

In mock solemnities.

 

He tore around the houses

Shouting in ghoulish glee,

The Master of Carouses

A king of Revelry:

 

The tiring of his rumbling

With consequential fuss

He took the rain off, grumbling

But Winter he left with us.

 

“Dawn” Silwood Road,

Rondebosch Cape.


          Northwest Wind In my Garden

I lie and listen to the ruthless wind

Go trampling through my garden, and I know

That all the startled plants are bending low,

Not having known a touch that was unkind.

The wind is pitiless, and cold, and blind

To fragile beauty: with relentless blow

He levels all. And I who love them so

Can only shelter them within my mind.

 

I wonder if the flowers wonder why,

As low they crouch, dishevelled and afraid,

The one who nursed and loved them has betrayed?

Small stocks and roses… do they know that I

Am helpless too, before this renegade

That shouts his triumph to the shaken sky?

 

Cape Times

Leader Column


      Nostalgia   (A South African in London)

Rain. And Fog. The air is thick

With breath, an old pelt.

My saturated soul is sick

For the arid, open veld.

 

People…streets…without interlude…

Noise, and a blaze of light:

God! For the speckles solitude

And the silent, star-strewn night!

 

Sick am I of this man-made world.

Yea, I am sick to death

For leagues of sunlight veld unfurled,

And God’s untainted breath.

 

London is rich and culture proud –

I lust for a leaner land;

For a stretch of sky without a cloud

And the sculping of God’s hand.

 

Here lanes at dawn are sweet with dew –

But I would give it all

For a sight of the old drought-struck Karroo

And the smell of a kaffir kraal!


            Not A Fashionable Poet

It is not up-to-date today, to write

Of beauty, or to dip a spleenless pen

In unadulterated woodland glen

Or flower-starred meadow lush with Spring’s delight.

 

It is more fashionable to indite

On ode (unrhymed) to pigs in dungy den,

Likening them unto one’s fellow men;

Subverting beauty’s image, blackening white.

 

Yet seasons with their pageantry stream by,

And clouds of pearl still dapple heaven’s blue –

Let it be mine to let the whole world know it!

Why sing of dung when glory’s in the sky,

Or ugliness when beauty is as true?

Thank God, I am not a fashionable poet!


                 Not Enough

Loving you is not enough.

The sweet intoxication of your presence, the delight

Of brief at-one-ment when the flight

Of time is lost in all eternity and night

And day are indivisible

Is not enough.

If I would understand you I must learn

Your language. I must learn

To pierce the symbol where your thought has stirred

Creatively the elements, if I am to discern

The meaning of the beauty of the word.

 

For what is all the universe but this

The manifested Word of the Beloved?

And we miss

The meaning when we are contented with the kiss.


Veritas, Constantia


          Not on De Waal Drive

Now God be thanked I live in a place

Where I can look the moon in the face,

Where I can lave in silvery light,

And sleep in the naked arms of night.

And give us to keep as long as we can

This  place from the depredations of man

Who thinks, with gold, and a wink and a nod,

That he can do anything better than God.

 

Dorothea Spears


              Not Ready Yet

“Too soon! Too, soon!" the poplars cry. Alas, .

We are not ready yet to face the spring,

Too soon! Too soon for winter noons to pass

And bring again this burst of blossoming!”

Still bare they stand against the rising tide

Beside the verdant oak, the budding plane,

The blossom tree,, that, vestured like a bride,

Accepts the sun's embrace nor wits of wane.

I wonder is it faith that fails you, friends,

Or courage. or a weariness not yet

Grown rested would delay this life that bends

With unrelenting hands the sap till set?

I, too . . . . I, too, my poplars. Spring is here

Too Soon, too eagerly, this thirsty year.

 

Dorothea Spears.


            Not Still Enough

We are not still enough. We have forgot,

Amongst the intersecting paths of space,

The way that leads us to that silent spot

Where no sound is, where discord enters not.

And searching vainly in life’s polyglot

We find no tongue to give us clue or trace;

Only we sense in every baffled face

A like desire for that so vital spot.

 

But once the maze of time and discord through,

Emerging from that silence, every light

The sum of colour is. Our sharpened sight

Perceives all beauty with a vision new.

In every man we glimpse the infinite

And know, for one brief moment, false from true.


             Nothing

Nothing ends in nothing:

Every word spoken,

Every faith broken,

Everything remembered or forgot

Leaves a mark on the face

Of time or space.

Nothing is not

Indelible there in the air

Or the power of the hour.

The scent of The rose

Bud, that blows

And glows and dies,

Love that sighs, and expires,

Passionate embrace,

Frosts and fires and desires

Leave their trace:

And curse and praise

And the ways of nights and days

Time betrays.

Nothing ends in nothing

But nothing is nothing

 

Dorothea Spears


      Nothing Is Ever Quite the Same Twice

Nothing is ever quite the same twice.

No word is complete in itself, nor any note

Of music written or played or heard, nor day

Nor hour, nor moment…nor the song of a bird:

And certainly not people, certainly not

An individual, subject to the play

Of ambient energies and rays and thought.

Every image is impinged upon

By other images caught and though and what it says

To today and here and now

And in this set of circumstances;

It may not say to us at all tomorrow

Because no thing is complete in itself: no thing

But is a changing synthesis between

Beholder and beheld, hearer and heard

And time and place and circumstance, unforeseen

And the fall of the dice.


Airlie Close

Constantia, C.P.


         November In The Cape

November in the Cape – the month of roses,

When every garden plot is glorified:

The humblest corner suddenly discloses

A wealth of dazzling, unsuspected pride.

The roses to the earth their riches fling

In joyous, passionate abandonment

Until the baffled airs vibrate and sing

In harmonies of colour and scent.

November in the Cape – O Heart, be still!

In notes of austere white and glowing flame

The roses set the tingling air a-thrill

In cadences defying mortal name.

 

Conducted by the Arch-musicians hand

A symphony of colour sweeps the land!


         Now Christmas Comes Apace

Now Christmas comes apace.  O Heart, be gay!

All nature hymns the advent of this birth.

The birds are carolling with joyous mirth;

The trees, full-leaved, with rustling zephyrs play

And blossom incense fills the phials of day.

Here is no freezing wind, no winter dearth,

But generous sunshine flooding verdant earth:

Come, let us haste to join the roundelay!

 

In northern climes the cold men fan the ember

To keep alive its artificial glow:

We revel in the sun, and scarce remember

To render thanks to Him who made it so,

To God, who gives us roses in December

When half the world is covered deep in snow.


           Now I know it’s Autumn

Now I know it's Autumn!  Hill to hill

The lazy valley's haunted with the haze.

The pungent Autumn scent, nostalgic, still,

Of bonfires burning up the summer days.

Along the valley stretch the funeral pyres

Dissolving into smoke the beauty past.

Across the valley burn the Autumn fires

Of crumpled memories that cannot last;

The faded summer days, discarded flowers,

The fallen leaves of green and brown and gold

And red and yellow; all the faded hours,

Whose ashes will be scattered, growing cold.

How wise, how wise to tidy up the heart

Before the urgent winds of winter start.


Dorothea Spears


        Now Is My Heart Indeed a Bird of Joy

Now is my heart indeed a bird of Joy

That spreads it wings before thee

And winging ever higher sings

How I adore thee!

Now am I enrobed with vesture bright

You strengthen and restore me

Till my whole being makes reply

How I adore thee!

They peace envelopes me: they love enfolds…

Be gentle, I implore Thee

For I am overwhelmed, my Lord…

How I adore Thee!


           Nyakatsapa

Still… As Still – as still as death…so still

That all the laden valley seems to hold

Some mystic secret sacredly untold

And guarded by the silent circling hill.

Still… Tremendous silence stoops to fill

The vale: the silence burnished gold

Of sunlight seems a plotter in some old

Mysterious secret unrevealed… Still.

 

Still… Eternal silence seals the place

Unchallenged and immutable. Who knows

The secret of the valley and the hill?

While just without the valley by a pace

The restless world of men still comes and goes

With noisy tread, But here it’s still …It’s Still.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© Rosalind Spears 2021