T

Table Mountain

Lines written during the search for a young friend who lost his life in attempting alone a difficult climb on

                              Table Mountain

 Oh Mountain, I was wont to love so well

Thy rugged beauty and they changeful hues;

The memories that in thy rough sides dwell;

The million gems that sparkle in thy dews.

 

How often have I slept against thy breast

 And watched the sun break through the morning mist,

Bathing in golden light a world at rest,

And rise till every shadowed ledge was kissed!

 

At eventide I’ve sat, thy lonely guest,

And seen the sun quenched in a ruby sea,

Incarnadining all the golden West –

And mighty awe has taken hold of me.

 

Or in thy darkening moods when thou didst frown

I still have loved thee, still thy ways have trod.

And far above the smallness of the town

Have found unsullied rest, and peace -and God.

 

When I have wandered far by land or sea

Thy image bound my heart and pulled the strings.

Thy smile was always first to welcome me;

My symbol, thou, of all life’s higher things.

 

But where I dreamed thee faithful, thou art false.

And thou art cruel where I thought thee kind.

Oh, thou art treacherous – to friendship false –

Give back to us the lad we long to find!

 

For thou hast lured him with thy majesty.

He loved thee, too, and gloried in thy might.

-Oh Mountain, no more beautiful to me,

His blood, not sunset, paints thy peaks so bright!


                 Tea at Constantia

I am sitting here under the oaks

Of Van der Stel, drinking tea

And looking at all the folks

About me, all of us wearing our company cloaks

To hide our common identity.

You are so near that I could reach a hand

And touch your hand, and yours, and smile and say

“Good day, my friend” But you wouldn't understand.

You would draw your cloak about you and turn away

Because we haven't been introduced. Yet I

It seems, have known you all my lives

In one guise or another.

Recognition strives

In vain to pass the portal of the eye

And brain, and we pretend to each other

That we have never met, nor shall again, the moment passes by

Stranger, are you not the child of God, my Father,

And Earth, my Mother?

How much we miss, who deny.

 

Dorothea Spears


            Tea in the Public Gardens

I am sitting here under the oaks

And beeches and yews, drinking tea

And looking at all the folks

About me, all of us wearing our Sunday cloaks

To hide our common identity.

You are so near that I could touch your hand – and yours, and smile and say

“Good day, my friend!” But you wouldn’t understand.

You would draw your cloak about you and turn away

Because we haven’t been introduced. Yet I,

It seems, have known you all my lives

In one guise or another. Recognition strives

In vain to pass the portal of the eye

And brain, and we pretend to each other

That we have never met, nor shall again.

The moment passes by.

Stranger, are you are not the child of God, my Father

And Earth, my Mother?

How mush we miss, who deny!


            Tell-tale mirrors

How much does a year weigh?

We have so many of them to tote

On such a long road

And cannot lay them by for a night or a day?

Sometimes they seem so light,

So thistledown their load

I scarcely feel the weight of them at all

Until I chance to see

A looking-glass, and realize

How heavy they must be.

And I am shaken, taken by surprise,

Meeting the mirrors on the wall

And in your eyes

 

      Dorothea Spears


              Tempest Torn

That part of me belonging to the Storm

Rejoices in the fury of the gale.

I ride the wild unbroken stallions of the wind

In fearful steeplechases over hill and dale

Leaving the little haunts of little men behind,

With hooves like thunder beating the stricken air

And the fingers of the lightning in my hair

And 0, the wild torrential music of the night!

The ecstasy, the freedom, the delight!

That other part of me, knowing its kinship with the form

Of all humanity, cowers before the bold

And merciless stampeding of the Storm,

Defenceless, vulnerable, shelterless and cold,

Sharing its hunger, listening to the cries

That won't be drowned by all the tumult of the angry skies.

And 0! The bitter suffering when the cupboard's bare

And the single blanket pitifully thin

And the roof a scrap of rusted tin

The misery, the bondage, the despair!

 

To-night I'll ride with the tempest and thrill to the will of the Storm

To-morrow I'll carry food and clothes −

But I can never carry enough to make this body warm!

 

Dorothea Spears


                      Tension

The earth, and the air, and the sky, and the sea

Are all aware

Of some unusual happening, somewhere,

That is, or is to be;

Something imminent, immense,

Involving you and me.

All life seems to sense

The tension: violence breaks out

In sudden unashamed bouts;

Even the sun and the moon are ill at ease,

And the trees what whisper in the garden

And shed their leaves too soon;

And most of all the restless winds

That go about the world, nor know

Which way to blow…

And you and I, who try to read

The writing on the earth, and the sea, and the sky.


Thank You

I wish I were a poet

To pen in words divine

The love I bear your gift and you-

But such art is not mine.

I wish I were an artist

To paint in pictured line

How I appreciate your thought-

But such art is not mine.

I wish I were musician-

But dreams I must resign,

And only hope you’ll understand,

For high art is not mine.

 

Dorothea Graham Botha

The Epworth Press

1925


                   Thanks for Christmas

Thank God we still have Christmas! With the years

So many things are changed, so many things

Are lost; but still the Christmas season brings

The Star, the Babe, the Mother, and the Kings.

Despite the merchandizing and the gay

Inconsequential keeping of the feast

In many places, this is still the day

When those with much remember those with least.

And this is still a time of year that men

Remember friends and friendships and recall

The half-forgotten fellowships again,

And sense, somehow, the oneness of us all.

And Christmas symbols still have power to start

To life the latent love in the human heart.

 

Dorothea Spears


Thanksgiving

Because the sun shines on the glittering bay,

And lights the distant purple hills beyond

To green and gold, with his warm, magic wand,

That we may see, we thank Thee, Lord, this day.

Because the rain has fallen through the night

And washed all clean and fresh the face of earth;

For birds that fill the air with rapturous mirth

That we may hear, we thank Thee, Lord of light.

For friends that grow more true with passing days,

To cheer for us the lonely paths of life;

For hearts that beat with ours in one accord;

Oh, Father, hear Thou now our grateful praise.

For sun and rain and song and rest from strife;

And hearts to beat with ours, we thank Thee,

Lord.

 

Dorothea Graham Botha

The Epworth Press

1925


                  The 95th −  Day

THIS is the 95th day of the State of

Emergency in South Africa.

Deciduous Trees

Brave deciduous trees that offer shade

In Summer when the days are long

And rays are strong

For mortal men to bear

How wonderful the ways that God has made

For mortal care!

For Winter strips them of their lovely leaves

When days are short and wet- and cold

Lest they withhold

The coat the weakened sunlight weaves

For shivering men to wear.

 

Dorothea Spears


                 The 123rd Day

THIS is the 123rd day of the State of

Emergency in South Africa.

Karoo Thorn Trees

I have seen them standing stark

And white and dark

Like skeletons against the umber earth.

"Can these bones live?" I cried.

They rattled and replied

With ghostly mirth.

 

But what they said I could not understand

Until I passed again

Through that transfigured land

After rain.

Then I knew that Time would always

Bring the young and tender green

Of latent Spring,

The waiting thorns regain

Their living sheen.

And from a distance, then, the white thorns sing

The lovely song of fruit trees blossoming.

 

Dorothea Spears


                The 134th Day

THIS is the 134th day of the State of

Emergency in South Africa.

      9/8/1960

Words and Winds

Words are like the wind, like the wind

Blowing over fields of snow

Or fields of clover,

Thick with scent or thinned

To icy sharpness, blowing over

Fields of blossom or of snow.

Words are zephyrs; words are gales

Tempered by the desert or the ocean

Over which they blow

And set in motion

Weather that sings and weather that wails.

Words are winds blowing over the heart

And as the heart is so they heal or hurt

Or soothe or smart.

 

Dorothea Spears


                The 137th Day

THIS is the 137th day of the State of

Emergency in South Africa

 

Fifth Column

Have you not heard them creeping through. the night,

Intangible, invisible and real;

A darkness in the darkness; in the light

A shadow seeking shelter, velvet, steel?

As starlings find the one unminded spot

And occupy the roof; as waters seep

Unseen through tiny inlets guarded not

To breach the dyke: so fear and hatred creep

Through rifts of unforgiveness, occupy

The stronghold of the mind and storm the heart −

Italian beetles, house to house they fly

And riddle nations till they fall apart

Be vigilant of fear and hatred, Soul,

Who undermine the love that keeps life whole.

 

Dorothea Spears

       15/12/60


                    The Age

No time …

No time …

All rhyme,

No rhyme.

 

Turn, wheels,

Faster, faster –

No man’s

His own master.

 

All slaves

To sheer speed,

All boasting

One creed.

No faith;

Souls terrene.

One God –

The machine.

 

No man’s

His own master –

Turn, wheels,

Faster, faster!


              The Arm Chair

I see your white arm

Lying along the arm of the chair

Palm up… it will be there

When the rest of the rust coloured fabric

Has faded into dust

And none will care.

I sit here, now,

Time and distance from where

You sat that day

And wonder how many images

I have disturbed who share

The shelter of this old

And hospitable armchair

And if my image too,

As yours, imprints the air

Will imprint this chair.

 

Jan 3, ‘74


                  The Arrogant

Why should there not be visitors from Space

If, shod by science, winged by far desire

The men of this Dark Planet dare aspire

To tear aside the artificial lace −

That veiled so long the universal face

And, tutored in the hidden art of fire,

To bid their lives to prove a guerdon higher

Within the compass of this human race?

 

Are we so arrogant we can't conceive

Of greater evolutions than our own,

Of knowledge such as we have never known,

Experience to plan and to achieve −

The things that still to us are dream alone

Is this too strange a concept to believe?

 

Dorothea Spears


                 The Basic Heresy

I have held the planet in the hollow of my hand;

Twixt thumb and index finger held the ocean and the land,

One integrated unit but men will not understand.

 

We sketch our sovereign borders with a flourish, underline

In red our demarcations with a bold NO TRESPASS sign

Defy a violation of each artificial mine.

 

Twixt nation and twixt nation, man and man, and race and race,

Our artificial barriers desecrate God's holy place

And foil the purpose of His Love, the flowing of His Grace

 

We believe in boundaries: that’s our schism: that’s the sin

Against the Holy Ghost that will not let the Spirit win

Domination on this wayward earth to bring His Kingdom in.

 

Dorothea Spears


              The Beautiful Reality

Do you remember how we paused, each half afraid

To put to test the dream that we had made?

Lest contact with the world should break its sunny wings?

For dreams, like butterflies, are fragile things.

So beautiful, so gossamer; so strong and frail-

Like spider’s webs that hold before the gale

Yet shiver into ruin at one ruthless touch.

Oh, dare we risk the dream that meant so much?

 

How could we know, at the year’s end the real would seem

More beautiful and fair than any dream,

The web of love unbroken still, the frail wings bright,

And life’s symphony, my dear, of sheer delight?


                    The Body

This body, this intricate house of flesh and blood

And bone and sinew, exquisitely formed.

Perfected through the Six Days of Creation

To house and hold the Holy Incarnation −

Dare we despise it, cover it with shame,

Accept, and further yet, its degradation

Because our thoughts are evil? We defame

The temple fitted for illumination!

 

The evil is not in the body, God-designed,

But in the coverings woven by the mind

That counts as evil this miraculous thing.

Strip off the drapings! You will find a wing!

 

Dorothea Spears.

           26/5/57


                      The Bridge

Here are the restless millions of the East,

Ready for the miracle of renaissance;

Looking to the West, and to the North,

And wondering and weighing…

Revolting from the merit of obeisance.

The Ancient Wisdom clothes itself anew

In modern garb and venture boldly forth

Across all Borders, seeking for a bridge

To link the indivisible hearts of men

Against the Darker Powers that would divide,

And bring the Cosmic Christ to birth again.

And on the other side –

Here we are the fearful millions of the West

Working, playing, praying;

Driving themselves to death one way or another,

Mistaking knowledge for wisdom in their zest

To master Nature and usurp her gifts

To sell for profit or usurp for power;

Distrustful of the truth that is not seen –

And each one has so much to give the other

If only they could bridge the gap between!

And here are the millions of Black folk waking

From centuries of sleep, like children, taking

And making and breaking, and unconsciously seeking

Always a bridge to link them to the land

Of the adult, who will not understand.

 

We could have built this bridge in Africa,

Between the East and West, Black and White,

And Childhood and Adulthood, if our sight

Had not been blinded by our little selves

And foolish dreaming of a White Man’s State…

Is it too late?


Veritas

Constantia


            The Broken Bowl

We pray for peace with perjured lips who hold

Our own possessions dearer than the fate

Of humankind. We cry too loud too late

For birthrights which we have already sold.

From tortured earth we tear the living gold

And turn it not to beauty but to hate.

We reap unready harvests. desecrate

The suffering soil that nurtured us of old.

For individual gain we sacrifice

The common good, deny the common goal,

And in a billion bits we break the bowl

Of beauty. seize each fragmentary prize

With frightened hands and will not recognize

That peace can only be held in the perfect whole.

 

Dorothea Spears


              The Caretaker

Here, Memory, take this perfect bloom

And keep it in your living room

Of loveliness where nothing dies.

And when the skies are great with gloom

I’ll come to you, and feast my eyes

On all the beauty I have known

And you have kept, and make my own

 

Dorothea Spears


             The Choice

I stood upon a high pinnacle in the Cosmos

Overlooking Time and Space on the planet men call earth.

And I could see along the corridors of Time, backward and forward,

As distinctly as I could see along the corridors of Space.

There were mountains and valleys in Time, and continents and seas

And waves of species rising and falling, and troughs and crests,

And smooth seas in Time when tempests slept.

 

And there were volcanoes and earthquakes erupting new civilisations

And burying them…

Until I scarce knew which was the landscape of Time

And which the physical face

Of earth manifesting geographically in Space.

There was Time, like a map drawn in relief,

Spread out below me, three dimensionally

And standing thus I saw

All the innumerable ways of planetary Time and Space

Converging…slowly…surely… in one place.

Like the thread that binds a necklace and holds the beads in place,

Like the theme that integrates a symphony,

Like the plot that underlies the divergent scenes of a book or play

And ties them all together at the end, tidily –

I saw one Energy running through and binding all that was and all that is

And all that is to be –

The Energy of Synthesis.

From Chaos into Order from amoeba into man…

From solitary caveman, fearful, crude,

Through tribe and city-state and nation, empire, commonwealth…

Following the same sequential, consequential Plan…

Each little Whole uniting with its fellows to form a greater Whole,

A greater Whole, becoming more than just the sum of all its parts;

Appropriated, motivated by some vaster soul…

The irresistible process of Creation moving to its God-appointed goal.

Standing thus in wonderment I heard One say

That there was but one evil where men trod,

Only that evil which separated…man from man…

Man from God…and hindered the fulfilment of the Mater Plan

That wrought an earth from chaos, and has lately brought

The utmost corners of the earth together through their common envelope of ether.

For the river of evolution brooks no permanent stay

And that which seeks to block its course shall surely be swept away:

Not in punishment; not in wrath;

But simply, detachedly, as a river in flood sweeps all from its path.

The time for sloth has ended. Now this earth

Must hasten to fulfil that destiny to which

Slow moving aeons have contributed.

Man must transcend his individual limitations, rise above

The petty barriers he has made of race and castes and creed and State

(Lest fences built for shelter turn to prison camps)

And realise his freedom as son of God

To seek the good of that one great Humanity

Of which his little unit forms a part by right.

There is no time for selfish pride, for greed, for hate,

And he who seeks to save his life shall lose it

Be he called Communist or Capitalist or Black or Brown or White.

 

Around the earth there sounds the clarion call

There is only one world, one good – and that is the good of all.

United, man shall stand, Divided, he must fall

Because that Power has been released, however man employ it,

That shall make whole this little world, this earth –

or else destroy it.

 

Veritas, Constantia, C.P.


               The Christmas Tree

Alone at last, a strange thought came to me.

I wondered – should this be –

a young tree slaughtered in its prime

for our festivity?

I leaned my heart to catch the low reply:

“For His nativity

we must die most joyfully,

for Him Who likewise in His prime,

was slain upon a Tree.

Thus every year we do

our glad atonement make for Calvary.”

I silenced thought to listen.  Happily

Laudo, Domine!


           The Cloak

Because there's so much hatred in the air;

Because there's so much hate:

Because the strife is rife,

Because the hour is late . . .

You and I must wear with care

And keep in good repair

The invisible cloak of love that safeguards life.

A single tear

Gives entry to the fatal knife

Unsheathed and bare.

Beware, my soul . . . beware.

 

Dorothea Spears

25/10/57


               The Cloak

                    (For Doris)

"Nature is the garment of God"

She always said, −

"And he who seeks will find

Himself within it and behind.

And if you tread

Where Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring have trod

(If you've a seeing mind)

You'll see His footprints in the sod,

And sense His breathing when the wind blows,

His fragrance in the rose.

 

Of mountain, sky and sea,

Of valley and river, flower and tree,

And sun and moon and star His garment is designed,

Concealing . . . And revealing . . .

One with delicate fingers for feeling

And sensitive ears to hear and eyes to see

Can trace Him through the texture even of you and me."

 

Dorothea Spears.11/6/58


          The Common Wealth

Are we not rich beyond the dreams of avarice

Who have an access to so many kingdoms

To travel or to tarry in at will,

We in them and they in us,

Subject only to that mortal tyrant, Time,

Where we may sip or pause to drink our fill

Of the intoxicating wine I Of beauty and truth:

The kingdom of the Body, and of the Heart,

 

And Nature's kingdom where a man may roam

And chance to find the keys of death and resurrection;

The kingdom of books, of music, and of art;

The kingdom of Mind, where wise men make their home,

The kingdom of the soul . .

All ours, all ours to enter, ours to choose,

Being the heirs of all,

Which inexhaustible riches we shall use

Or abuse or refuse

Or let fall.

There are so many golden highways to be trod

Within the fabulous Commonwealth of God!

 

Dorothea Spears


              The Daisies Are Out

All starry eyed above the Town

Today, the laughing hills look down

Assuring timid souls of fear

That Spring will surely soon be here.

And ‘round the corner of the Peak

Rough wildebeest and zebra sleek

(God sun a-shine on sable bars)

Stand ankle deep amongst the stars!


        The Days Between

Here in Constantia, now, the golden oaks

Are full of sun and indolent with days,

Holding their tattered, multi-coloured cloaks

With loosened fingers where the fabric frays.

The russet vineyards, their fulfilment done,

Lie idle now against the autumned hill,

Content with summer, sleeping in the sun:

And for today the shouting winds are still.

The poplars and blossom trees are bare

And do not care if poinsettias write in red.

The hawthorns, though, are vividly aware,

And here and there a late rose lifts her head.


               The Dead Bird

So frail, so frail a form to fly so high…

I hold the yielding softness in my hand

But a moment since from heaven scanned

Us heavy earthbound creatures crawling by.

Still warm within my helpless hand you lie,

Intrepid heart: you did not understand

The clear deceptive window-panes than spanned

The space through which you chose to reach the sky.

 

And I, frail spirit in frail form aspire

To higher heavens than you ever sought,

To skies beyond your uttermost desire.

I wing my way on powerful-pinioned thought.

Has God’s house windows of invisible fire?

And if I strike them am I freed or caught?

 

Veritas

Welbeloond Road

Constantia C.P. South Africa


          The Deceiver

I find it difficult to tell

Sometimes, if I am talking to

A Bokmakerie or a Fiscal Shrike.

The arrogant fellow quotes so well

And sounds so very like

The friendly occupants that dwell

In my surrounding trees -

Unless one sees him in his suit

Of black and white

(Especially in a fading light) -

Can one be sure the word one heard

Was Bokmakerie . . . or a Butcher bird?

 

Dorothea Spears


             The Deserted Shine

Some men, when love has left them make complaint

That from their skies the sun of life has fled:

No ray of moon or star illuminates their road,

Or banishes the darkness from their way.

For these, because men cannot always live

In darkness, some new sun must sometimes shine:

But men live forever in gloom.

And so, for me, is no oblivion,

Nor yet a new light to replace lost love.

 

In high Cathedrals of the Roman faith

The tapers burn before each worshipped saint,

Kindled by ardent hands, and shed their light

Together through the space: if one forget,

And darkness closes one accustomed shrine

The other alters still illume the dusk …

And so with me – since you no longer tend

The tapers of one alter, neither bring

Your offering, nor deck that desolate nook

With your affections flowers, I too, kneel there

No more: and in the temple of my life

The shrine of love remains forever bare.


         The Doctors’ Dilemma

The doctors grave in conclave sat

For in the fire had gone the fat

And Cronin’s ill-timed book had stirred

The populace to doubting word.

Said one – “The way to end this siege

And to restore our lost prestige;

To combat this malignity

Is by access of dignity.

We must brush up that great possession –

The dignity of our profession!”

       .      .      .      .      .      .      . 

Oh Medicos, it is too late…

How learned your debate

When callings you commercialise

They’re no more sacred in our eyes.

True – we revered the old G.P.

A minister of healing, he,

Whose calling meant more than his fee

And gave him natural dignity.

You’ve lost, and by your own confession,

The dignity of your profession –

Here’s the reply to your complaints –

Men who make fortunes can’t be saints.

One Esau proved this saying true

You can’t have prestige and birth right too.


          The Dogs Are Loose

……………….Once more

Man has unleased the hungry hounds of War.

 

Across the Continent we hear them bay –

The fierce dogs, ravening for human prey;

Making an end of innocent delight.

No more shall we sleep dreamlessly at night…

The ravenous dogs of War are on the trail

And there no earth for us that will not fail.

 

For these are not tame hounds, that come to heal

At whistle or command. With jaws of steel

And breeding hate, they occupy the land.

They gorge on beauty, glut themselves with youth,

And drag in the mud the tattered garb of Truth:

They hunt down Innocence, and snarling, tear

God’s image from men’s living breasts; lay bare

The reeking flesh of Lust that shame would hide:

And men do murder in the name of Pride.

They have not found our scent yet, but who knows

Which way the treacherous wind tomorrow blows?

Then let us not in fancied safety gloat –

Tomorrow we may feel them at out throat.

For man may loosen, but man cannot thrall

The hungry hounds of War…God help us all!


           The Dominions of England

England, Mother England,

So distant and so dear,

Beset by the aggressing hordes –

We hold our breath with fear

For all that you must suffer,

For all that you must bear:

We had not realised before,

How vitally we care,

Your children, who adore you:

But over all the earth

Our hearts are broken for you,

For you who gave us birth.

England, Mother England,

From half the world away

Your sons are rushing to your aid;

Your daughters work and pray.

That God who gave you Beauty,

That faith which made you strong,

Will bring you safely through this hour

Till Right deposes Wrong.

 

“Oaklands”

Newlands Ave

Newlands, C.P.

South Africa


                   The Dream

Knock . . . Knock . . . Knock . . . Not daylight yet 

Who's there?  You're dreaming.  Go to sleep again.

The knocking at the door is not more loud

Than knocks the heart against its cage of bone,

And Innocence holding the hand is poor comfort.

"Open" . . . The police . . . to violate

The sanctity of another home - your turn!

Strange. You wouldn't open a letter sent

To one of your own, yet these insensitive hands

Will rape most intimate diaries, profane

Most private papers and previous manuscripts

That will not ever seem the same again.

      *    *

A narrow cell, and silence. Neither book

Nor pen nor friendly voice. A naked light

As cruel as the darkness. Day and night

The sudden questioning; the slanted news:

Uncertainty assuming shapes grotesque

And terrifying: sense of security severed:

Something bent that you will never straighten:

Something broken you will never mend.

      *    *

Ninety days. How long is ninety days?

Time for a season's passing: time to end

A way of living . . . to betray a friend . . .

Or lose a reason. To-day it is a dream.

Tomorrow it may be true. It may be you.

 

Dorothea Spears

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 



 

 

 


         The Drought-Stricken Farmer

He has known laughter, once, this man with the face grey and grim.

He was young in the days gone by, but now his eyes are dim

With searching the skies for rain: the drought has parched the soul of him.

 

His lands lie open-mouthed, agape for the rains

That never come.

Like laths in the wind his cattle stand, dim-wondering and dumb.

Ghostlike he stalks his ruined lands…

Apathetic…Numb.

 

He has had his season of cynical laughter.

He had his period of cursing after;

He clung with his teeth to the hopes of the past:

He fought the Fates with laughter and curse

And flung in their faces his empty purse –

But they broke his spirit at last.

He stalks the lands: the last lean sheep bleat pitifully, and cry.

Time was when the sight had pierced his heart,

Now he passes by

With never a word for the helpless beasts. He is used to watching them die.

 

What is he thinking behind that mask, this man who is young in years

And old in suffering; tight-lipped, hard;

Untroubled by hopes or fears?

That granite face – will it smile again? Or those eyes be moved to tears?


        The Eldest of Many Brothers

Was he the First of many brethren, born

To bring birth on earth another age?

To turn for man a new and vital page

In evolution, supervening torn

The dog-eared pages of an age outworn;

To found a finer kingdom, to engage

Potential God and merging man; a mage

To open virgin doors to time unborn?

Is He the Bond by which man shall attain

The sentient synthesis, the golden goal?

A living Catalyst to fuse the soul

Of man and men and God and Nature, gain

Immortal oneness through this mortal pain?

We touch His garment… shall we be made Whole?

 

Veritas

Constantia, C.P.


             The Empty Cup

He speaks in parables because He knows

The fallibility of fashioned speech,

And who can teach the way a flower grows

Or pose the limit of a man's reach?

A word is but a cup to hold a thought

That men may sup, but it becomes a mould

To set and shape it and the form is caught

And taught and fought about, and bought and sold.

No words can hold the Word, no vessel hold

The unadulterated wine that fills

The Universe, though wrought of jewelled gold

We clutch The cup the while the wine spills,

And thirsty by The glittering tree Man stands

The empty cup of Christmas in his hands.

 

Dorothea Spears


         The End of the Chapter

Now Death had writ “Finis” to our friendship.

I turn the leaves before I lay it by,

This book made up through shining days, together,

The pages we had written, you and I.

The leaves are starred with poets’ songs, and fragrant

With crumpled grasses and the scent of flowers.

Marsh-marigolds, wood violets and heart ease,

The sudden singing of the lark, were ours:

And aspen woods, and moors and arid desert,

And Southern skies where Beauty came unsought;

The best of both hemisphere, was ours,

And the luxury of honest word and thought.

And these are written herein words of silver

With more beauty than of erudition…

I had not thought our book would end like this –

Abruptly, like a modern composition.

I lay it by, But it is sad my friend,

That anything so beautiful should end.

 

Oaklands

Newlands Ave,

Newlands, C.P.


The Evening and The Morning Are a Day

 Every morning is a little birth, and every death

A mourning, the brief exhaling and inhaling of a breath:

And the evening and the morning are a day.

A birth in each beginning; a little death in every ending,

Losing or winning, breaking or mending, sinking or ascending:

And the ending and beginning are a day.

The little birth of waking and the little death of sleeping;

The taking and forsaking, the making and the breaking, the sowing and the reaping:

And the sleeping and the waking are a day.

The little birth of sight in dawning light,

The mirth of earth, and afterwards the little death of night:

And the darkness and the dawning are a day.

The sun and the rain, the loss and gain, the parting and the meeting,

The gloss of joy and pain, the starting and completing:

And the parting and the meeting are a day.

                                    .        .        .        .

And listening I heard the Prophet say

“A thousand years, O God, to thee are as a day.”


“Veritas”

Constantia, C.P.


The Eye Can Read but Cannot Understand

To-day there is magic in the air.

Is it some quality in the atmosphere

Of earth, that suddenly makes the earth appear

So luminous that I must stand and stare?

Or does the consciousness become aware

At times of hidden meanings hovering near

The surface, making visible and clear

The rarely realized but always there?

 

The eye is impotent to understand

Or to interpret symbols that conceal

The meaning modelled by whatever hand

The heart and mind taste and hear and feel

Before the surface symbol can expand

Incipient meaning and its self reveal.


Dorothea Spears


The Fabric must be Full of Light

The fabric must be full of light

And loveliness, a pattern that sings;

A happy pattern, serene and bright

Woven of colours that have wings

For this is the pattern of Mary…

Into the pattern I weave

The colours that I choose

The pattern I conceive:

And the warp and weft I use

Determine the harmony.

Oh, would I could match and mate

The pattern of the years

As deftly as I create –

Rejecting the colour of tears,

Discarding the pigment of sorrow

And threads that are dreary and dun –

To weave today and tomorrow

In the colours of the sun!


                The Face

There is a face that I shall not forget.

Never, never can the years erase

The frightened eyes, the tremulous lips that yet

Refuse to tremble, the bewildered face,

That time had traced with kindly lines and deep,

And fashioned for serenity – before

The changing world had robbed the night of sleep

And set the wolf to howling at the door.

It is a terrible thing to lie and hear

The howling of the wolf, and feel the cold

Creeping into the lonely heart, and fear

Of tomorrow, when one is defenceless and tired and old.

 

Shame on us! Shame, that such a thing can be

Within a civilised community!


           The Fairest Cape

Familiar beauty never stales for me

(If any beauty can be said to be

Familiar, when each vibrant new-bow day

That shapes it differs in some subtle way

From every other day) - nor fails to free

My folded wings of immortality

A little, pinioned by this cage of clay.

Beauty always has so much to say

That repetition cannot dull nor sight

Betray her words, that run the range of light

From hour to hour and day to day and year

To year, in star and flower, and far, and near,

In seas and mountains, trees and fountains, flight

Of birds, and changing skies, and day, and night.

Each repetition makes more clear and dear

This manifested beauty . . . now . . . and here.


Dorothea Spears

(Collection for Cape Peninsula Welfare Organisation for the Aged – May 5th 1954)


       The Fire of Mind is a Cold Fire

Are we not pulling poetry, painting, music, out of their natural sphere,

Always trying to plant on the mental plane the ineffable thing?

So many symbols the eye and ear of the soul can see and hear

That baffle the battling mind;

The bright intangibles that beggar the touch;

The bloom on the butterfly's wing.

For none, however erudite, can prison love in a word

That can be heard and analysed and measured and defined:

Or even the song of a bird.

None can bottle the essence of beauty in a phial or a phrase,

Nor cage the spirit in canvas, or stave, or page,

However brave or sage.

The fire of mind is a cold fire, as he who manipulates it understands:

It will illuminate, destroy, create - but never warm the hands.


Dorothea Spears


        The First Full Moon of the Year

Is not this night too beautiful to sleep?

The tranquil full-orbed moon is riding high

Across a vast serenity of sky:

The silent peace is immanent and deep.

Some say that Cosmic power is ripe to reap

At such an hour, that mortal earth can try

Immortal contact, certain of reply

When constellations have a tryst to keep.

 

The fingers of the wind are clasped and still

Enlapped in a profundity of light

The earth is wrapt in silent meditation.

O Mortals, let us wake and drink our fill

Of the immortal beauty of this night,

At one with heaven and earth in adoration!


       13/1/58


                THE FLAMING STAR.

I am victorious! This purging flame

That threatened to consume my peace of mind.
Has merged into a star, by which I find
The Christ of Bethlehem, for aye the same.

This raging flame that burned with such a fire
Within my heart, and filled me with unrest.

It has become a light within my breast
To purify and purge and lift me higher.

I would not have the contest less severe ;

I would not lose one throb of sad-sweet pain,

If I could live this pulsing time again—

For every throb has made my peace more dear.
And bound my soul more firmly into Thine
By this pure earthly love, oh Friend divine!


The freedom march (Monday, May 20 1957) 

. . . . . . We march . . . . . .

. . . We march . . .

We march

Across the pages

Of time: and through the ages

Tyrants have trembled

To hear the replication of our tread.

The beat of the feet

Of the living and the dead

Answering the call.

Not alone we march: not unknown

Into the future out of the past.

Neither the first or the last

But part of a never ending line

Stretching across the years.

Determined that the light of liberty shall shine

for ever and for all.

Undeterred by threats or jeers

We march

. . . We march . . .

. . . . . . We march . . . . . .

 

DOROTHEA SPEARS Constantia. C.P.


        The fruit and the fire

What was the tree of which Adam was for-bidden to eat

In the Garden of Eden

The fruit or the tree or the knowledge of evil and good

And was it bitter or sweet

To the tongue at the first tasting?

What was the fire Prometheus gave to man,

Incurring a punishment so dire

From the angry gods, who knew

The consequences of unguarded fire.

Not the innocent apple-a-day that keeps

The doctor away - of that we can be sure,

Be very sure; and I doubt

If all the Promethean fuss was about a spark

That enabled man to cook his food

And kindle light in the dark.

The fruit and the fire . . . the knowledge and the power

To create and destroy held in mortal hand.

Unversed in time and desire . . .

No wonder God and the gods were wroth,

Who could understand

The coming of the inevitable hour.


Dorothea Spears


               The gap

How mend the gap that gapes between

The action and the thought?

How make the unseen seen

Or trap the unborn beauty caught

Within the mesh of mind, the dream

That dies unwrought?

Some there are can build their dreams on earth,

And some, alas, as I

Can seldom bring to birth

The beauty built against the sky.

The airborne edifices of the mind,

The gardens of the soul,

Remain unmanifest. We cannot find

The stuff to bridge the gap that rifts the whole.

We think serenity and peace

But when the voice is heard

How often lips release

The unkind word.


Dorothea Spears


          The Garden

Stay, Spring, the while I sing the praise,

With honey words, of halcyon days;

Of beauty bursting from the earth

Is unpremeditated mirth;

Of beauty breaking through the sod

In reminiscence of God;

And how, when beauty first began

The Garden was the home of man.

He’ll walk unscathed through mammon’s mart

Who keeps the Garden in his heart.


Airlie Close

Constantia C.P.


           The gardener

Next year or the year thereafter

Or the year after that (What matter?)

Other laughter will ripple over the grass

I pass with loving feet:

Other chatter will ripple through the trees,

And other flowers than these

That I have loved will lift new faces

Full of happiness inviting the caress

Of other eyes than mine

To bless them and possess them,

And other lips than mine will sing their praises.

Next year . . . or the year thereafter

Or the year after that . . . what matter?

It is enough that I have loved

And laughed and laboured hard to bring'

This beauty into being. I shall be

Unseeing, part of it forever

As it will always be a part of me.

For beauty is never lost . . .  Never . . .


Dorothea Spears


            The Ghost 1

The light in the middle room

On the top floor was bright

As I heard your prayers and tucked you in bed

And said Goodnight

And suddenly felt that I

Was outside in the dark, looking in.

I stood outside in the park

Alone

Looking up at the house

That I once called my own

(when I had need of a house

to shelter flesh and bone)

One window after another

Winked as the shutters were closed

Or curtains drawn until

The light in the middle room

Of the top floor crept over the sill

And I knew that you were there

And I turned away because

It was more than I could bear.

The window was open wide –

But you could not have seen me

Even if I had come inside.

 Meonstoke.


The Ghost

There is a ghost that walks in my garden

And sits in my room with me.

Wherever I go, he follows;

And where I stay, stays he…

 

A slain man haunting his slayer –

(I murdered him with my sin)

He walks with me to the graveside

-The man that I might have been.


              The Ghostly Shoal

                (A Legend of Table Bay)

The poet sings of ancient ghosts

That haunt old castle halls,

And tales are told of ‘ventures bold

Within their mould’ring walls.

 

But I will tell a story true,

A tale of death and life:

A yarn I’ll spin of Spirits in

The wild Southeaster’s strife.

 

Some folk will laugh my tale to scorn –

(the practical of soul)

But on a day in Table Bay

There swam a ghostly shoal.

 

Three thousand fish there seemed to be –

Like silver glistened scale,

Like bloody dew the blown spray flew

Before the raging gale.

 

The boat cut through the seething mass:

The shoal engulfed her hull.

Old sea-dog Brand, with wheel in hand

Saw all his baskets full.

 

He shouted wildly to his men –

“Quick, to the nets!” cried he.

The coloured crew the clean nets drew

And cast them in the sea.

 

Then “Haul away!” and “Haul away!

Here’s money, lads; here’s gold,

So fill the net with fishes wet,

And overflow the hold!”

 

They hauled away and hauled away;

A mighty catch they caught:-

But no one knew in all that crew

The harvest that they brought.

For as the loaded net drew in

Loud shrieked the Southeast squall;

The bloody spume lashed deck and boom

The sky was green as gall.

 

Old Brand clung fiercely to the wheel,

As seaman’s oath he swore.

His course he held: the mainsail swelled

And drove him towards the shore.

 

While ghastly upon the deck

Each of his crew lay dead,

And in the place of each man’s face

There grew a fish’s head!

 

Stark  lay those limbs whose muscles tugged

So lately at the ropes,

And fish’s eyes in mock surprise

Scoffed at their human hopes.

 

And in the lately hauled net,

Grinning the grin of Death,

The Fish’s king rejoiced to bring

A catch in Old Brand’s breath.

 

Old Brand, who feared nor sea nor land

Old Brand of Gelden Groon!

He loosed his grip, forgot his ship,

And fell into a swoon.

 

And through the moan of a Southeast gale

There rose a ghostly jeer

At him who lay in bloodred spray

Forgetting how to steer.

 

The sky was clear; the sea was blue.

Old Brand’s eyes opened wide.

Hurled by a wave, his ship so brave

Lay grounded on her side.

 

But flapping idly in this breeze,

As if to prove this tale,

The sailcloth lay still soaked with spray

Blown bloodred in the gale.


              The Gift

We hung our stockings up on Christmas eve

Against the roomy chimney of our Lord

And asked for Peace, expectant to receive:

And in the morning – Lo, a naked sword!

“A sword’s a dangerous plaything for Mankind,”

We said, yet, “who dies fighting hath increase.”

And marvelled much the flaming sword to find

Less fatal to the soul than opiate Peace.


             The Glory Of War

War. You talk of glory of war – My God!

Were you there? Were you there in muck and mud

That clung like dying hands in the putrid sod;

Wet to the skin with slime and your brother’s blood,

Till your very soul was smeared with the crimson stain

And your forehead throbbed with the burning brand of Cain?

The glory of War… the hounds of Hell let loose,

Baying within your brain like the dying cries

Of the men you’ve slain. Peace cannot call a truce

To the din in your ears, or the visions that haunt your eyes.

The world cries “Peace!” and the hand of slaughter is stayed,

But the deadly ghosts of War will not be laid.

 

                                           I

A momentary lull, a hush, a thrill –

Clamouring hearts held fast by an iron will –

A word – and we’re over the top and into the fray!

Fighting, killing, mad with murder lust –

Filled with a thirst for blood we fire and thrust –

Back to the savage : it is the only way.

This is the glory of War. And behind the line

A woman waits for the man you’ve killed;

The sign of the cross she makes,

And prays to the Virgin Mother

To bring him back, and tonight his children cry

For the man who lies at your feet with glazing eye.

-      Shall we ever escape the curses that follow us,

Brother ?

We fought for the right, our Country, and our King

And God was on our side. (They said the same.)

We did our duty…and War is a glorious thing!

We won the widows’ curse, and undying fame!

 

                                    II

Hark, what sound is that above this Hell,

The din of shot and the screech of bursting shell?

 

Is it an angel singing through the strife?

Akin – a violin in a master hand,

Surely, the bullets themselves must understand –

A genius for a shell – and spare that life.

… his bow is broken forever… his blood is red:

Not man alone, but Music there lies dead.

 

This artist with his hand forever stilled;

That dreaming poet wandering in the cloud

Of Fantasy (‘Twill be his only shroud)

These are not men, but Beauty we have killed!

 

The blood of murdered Beauty cries from the ground:

Peace cannot cleanse our souls of this dire stain:

Something is lost that will never more be found.

Something is dead that will not waken again.

                                    …

This is War, that stills the poet’s tongue,

That rifles the fairest gems of Beauty’s shrine.

This is War, that leaves God’s harps unstrung

And kills within us something rare and fine;

-      A poisoned dart from the hand of Satan hurled

To mar the image of God in the heart of the world.

    The glory of War… Its iron has entered your soul

     But we face the truth at last with eyes that see.

     We who fought shall never again be whole,

     But the knowledge of truth shall set our children free.

    In the name of God and Beauty and Truth – Go tell

    There is no glory in War – but only Hell!


              The Golden Cage

Some men understand the open spaces,

And some have given their hearts to

Sate less seas,

While others find their joy in human

faces…

I have loved the graciousness of trees;

Of blossoming trees that stir the heart like Spring;

Of common or garden trees and hedges

shy

where birds can nest and shelter, mate and sing;

of stately trees that tower against the sky.

Yet I have learned a hedge may hide a view

To stretch the soul, and foliage thick above

Can intercept the sky – for it is true

That we are limited by what we love.

 

The proximate beauty can prison a man

like bars

and hide him from the vision of the Stars.


            The Golden Cage

Some men understand the open spaces,

And some have given their hearts to

State less seas,

While others find their joy in human

faces…

I have loved the graciousness of trees;

Of blossoming trees that stir the heart like Spring;

Of common or garden trees and hedges

shy

where birds can nest and shelter, mate and sing;

of stately trees that tower against the sky.

Yet I have learned a hedge may hide a view

To stretch the soul, and foliage thick above

Can intercept the sky – for it is true

That we are limited by what we love.

 

The proximate beauty can prison a man

like bars

and hide him from the vision of the Stars.


           The Golden Door

The house of love has a golden door, they say,

And whosoever wills to enter, may;

But always I have feared to step inside

Although the golden door stands open wide.

For sorrows, too, within that portal dwell,

And some have entered it to find out Hell;

And sometimes Grief and heartache stalk the floor

Beyond that tantalizing door.

 

I should have gone forever by, I swear,

Had I not paused one day and seen you there,

And all my fears dissolved themselves in bliss

Within the nectar of that first sweet kiss.


“Dawn”

Silwood Rd


           The Gracious World

Come, cast thy frowns… this world’s a gracious place

To live in. Every silver winged day

Some beauty has its birth along our way,

And some new love-light glows with tender grace

In Mother Nature’s dear old wrinkled face.

Yes, it’s a gracious world, where children play,

Where trees lift leafy branches high to pray

And sunshine weaves its mystic shadow lace:

Or where the mountains stoop to meet the sea

And hark to gossip of a far-off land;

Or that wide veld, to all of heaven unfurled,

Rolls grandly to the skyline, splendidly

Unconscious of the storm, what men planned

For it or me… yes, it’s a gracious world!


The Grand Old World

Love life? Ah yes, this world’s a grand old place

         To live in. Every silver-winged day

Some beauty has its birth along our way,

And some new love-light glows with tender grace

   In Mother Nature’s dear old wrinkled face.

      Aye, it’s a grand old world, where children play,

      And tress lift leafy branches high to pray,

And sunshine weaves its mystic shadow lace.

 

Or where the mountains stoop to meet the sea

       And hark to gossip of a far-off land;

        Or that wide veld, to all of heaven unfurled,

Rolls grandly to the skyline, splendidly

   Unconscious of the storm, or what men planned

      For it or me … Aye, it’s a grand old world


               The Habit Of Old Love

Do you still care, does your heart beat more fast

At the mention of my name? ‘Tis long ago

We loved, but wellworn habits of the past

Will not be broken in a year or so.

We loved so well, and now love is no more.

Yet when we meet the pulses quicken still

As when you held the key to my heart’s door

And entered and possessed it at your will.

 

         In time, I doubt not, it will surely pass,

This habit of old love, and we shall greet

         And see each other only through the glass

Of mere acquaintance when we chance to meet.

Though oft we swear the old love to forsake,

The habit of old love is hard to break.


          The Happiness of Waking at Night

Is It not happiness to wake at night,

At two or three o'clock, when daylight still

Is but a dream beyond the watching hill,

And feast the ear on silence and the sight

On darkness, or perhaps upon the bright

And soft reflections from the moon that fill

The valley with its strange unworldly will

And unfamiliarity of light?

O God be thanked for darkness that unveils

The universe to understanding eyes,

To consciousness the shining Milky Way'.

At night the mind can set enchanted sails

And find the worlds that live within the skies

Concealed behind the light of common day.

              Dorothea Spears


          The haunted

It is better that we should lay our ghosts

Now, while courage is strong.

The day is full of hiding places

Now, but the night will be too long

To escape from their accusing faces.

It's no use trying to bury a thought or an act

Until it is shriven;

No good trying to escape

A ghost unforgiven.

There's no unconscious deep enough to hold

An unlaid ghost

When nights grow long and cold.

It is better to summon them up, now,

And make our peace undriven.


Dorothea Spears


           The Healer                                                             

The hands of Silence are more genie than the hands

Of Love to men who have been buffeted by Sound

Day long and none so well as Silence understands

The pain of bruised and tingling nerves that show no wound.

I wonder that men do not woo this gentle one

To soothe their aching selves that all day long have trod

The noisy treadmill of the town, when day is done

Who knows but she might lead us, at the last, to God?


Dorothea Spears


             The Holiday

In fleecy sky

The sun mounts high,

Clouds hide and seek;

Soft breezes sigh.

Across the grass

The shadows pass

As clouds go racing, chasing by.

 

On tall tree tops

The bright sun drops

A shining mantle

Gleaming gold:

On clear lake, see

The crowned tree

In shining splendour aureoled!

 

From wooded hill

Returned birds thrill

A morning song,

A roundelay.

And sleepy heads

From dewy beds

Lift shining faces fresh and gay.

 

All Nature smiles and seems to say

My love, this is a holiday.


           The House of Four

A score or more have knocked at the door,

But none have entered the House of Four.

 

Yet the door will swing at an infant’s touch,

No bars on chains to hinder such

As would enter the door of the House of Four.

 

A score of more have knocked at the door,

For Love and Peace and Justice and Truth

Are constantly sought by inconstant youth;

But decades are days, and the childlike muse

Is lost in maturity, when men must choose.

 

A score of more have knocked at the door,

Yet no one has entered the House of Four,

Save One who retained and infant’s finger,

Whose Spirit and teaching persistently linger

The statesmen and judges have crucified

The message of music for which He died.


             The idealists

Is it because we have asked too much,

Because we have aimed too high,

Because the flesh cannot keep pace with the soul,

Because our earth is too heavy for our sky?

We fly, like Icarus, too near

The sun of aspiration

And are betrayed by that we hold most dear.

Our bright imagination

Launches us on wings of wax too weak

To bear the weight of such a flight

As we immortal, seek

Within mortality, too near, too near the light

Do we expect to harness our sun too soon,

Not having learned to curb our stars, our moon?


Dorothea Spears


        The Incessant Song

Every day is full of song, I suppose,

If only one knows how to listen.

But whence it comes and whither goes -

Who knows?

The song of the earth and the song of the sky

The song of growing and glowing

And coming and going and reaping and sowing,

Of question and reply;

The song of laughter and crying,

And birth, and dying . . . 

The song of the world is never still,

Under the water, over the hill;

In every part of every sphere

Soft and slow, or loud and clear,

But always near . . . near . . .

If only we could hear'.


Dorothea Spears


          The Indestructible

 

Don’t misunderstand me…

What I’m trying to say is this –

That joy, distinct perhaps from happiness,

Is not dependant on the weather,

Ever.

It is a quality, innate, profound,

A song in silence,

A silence in sound,

An inextinguishable light

Impervious to time or space

Or day

Or night

Or sun or rain

Or ineradicable pain.

I have come face to face with Joy

In the most unexpected places

And times and weathers;

Rising from the ashes

Singing like a lark

In sunshine when the world was dark:

I have seen Joy

Running up the garden path

With the shining face of a young boy

Holding creation in his hand

Like a new toy.

Happiness, gaiety, these

Are allergic to pain and sorrow,

But not Joy.

Joy is always, forever,

Yesterday, today, tomorrow.


Airlie Close

Constantia C.P.


         The Infrangible Fabric

Our thoughts give life to that on which we think,

Perpetuate in space the image wrought

In mental matter, welding link by link

The chains in which our blood and bones are wrought.

We build our bondage in our minds, create

Our world of war and hope and violent death

And good and evil from our love and hate

And bring them into being with our breath.

If we could cut the atmosphere and see

How thick with thought it is, and watch it set

In peace and war and hate and history –

Would we not have a care what we beget?

For nothing’s unnoted; every secret’s caught

In the vast infrangible fabric of tangible thought.


           The Inner Silence

There is a silence deeper, more profound

Than forest corridors at high noon tide

When all the birds are quiet, and subside

All whispers in a hush too full for sound,

When stillness like a carpet clothes the ground;

Not as of death but vital, as the tide:

Herein perpetual peace and strength abide…

Within thyself this silence may be found.

In every self there lies this vital core.

Seek for it, Mortal, if so be not yet

Hast thou discovered it. Nor fear nor fret

Disturbs that silence, though the traffic roar

About the ears, nor passion, nor regret,

But joy incomparable in mortal lore.


            The Interpreter

God be praised for beauty in whatever guise

It penetrates the consciousness of man,

Through sight or scent, through taste touch or sound,

Or through some deeper more profound

As yet uncharted sense.

And gives him glimpses of more skies

Than earthbound eyes could ever scan.

 

Since Time with silver scythe first cut the cord that bound

The infant race to mortal Mother Earth

And set the human spirit free to rise

Into the Consciousness that had begot its birth,

Beauty has revealed to tense

Evolving man in answer to his cries

Some semblance of the plan

That guides to infinite end this finite enterprise.

 

God be praised for beauty through sound and sense and sight

Interpreting the Father to the sons of Light.


Dorothea Spears


The Keerboom Tree

(Prelude to The Voortrekkers)

There is a tree, the Keerboom Tree,

With feathery foliage ever green

And blossoms like the wild sweet pea

Or flowering bean.

 

Elusive is the scent and sweet

As lilac in the storied Spring

Of England, and as passing fleet

When wings sing

To spread its carpet of pale mauve

About its feet, with silent grace

Surrendering its treasure trove

of purple lace.

 

A lover of the sun, it grows

In open spaces, free as air:

It has no love for gardens close

Or gardener’s care.

 

From out the arid soil it shoots

Defiant, hardy, unafraid,

Cleaving the hard earth with strong roots,

Creating shade

Wherein more timid seedlings gain

The courage needed for life’s call

And burst the bonds where they have lain.

Then, growing tall

Beneath the Keerboom’s sheltering boughs,

They spread themselves and swelled with pride

Look down upon the tree that bows

So shy beside

Their stateliness. The Keerboom tree,

That loves not shade, its duty done,

Fares farther, independently

To seek the sun.

 

The Knysna forests, so men say,

Were nurtured thus in days long gone:

These pioneers led the way

And then moved on.

 

Moved on, forgotten, to fresh fields

To seek the sun, to break new ground;

New forests in frail youth to shield,

New frontiers found.

The Keerboom tree, that loves the sun

And knows not stays nor fear

And dies, a new life having won –

The Pioneer.


                     The Key

Change is the key to immortality.

Is not life itself a succession of deaths,

A cycle of rebirths, a constancy

Of brief inhaling and exhaling breaths?

The Manifested world proclaims in deed

This fundamental truth; emerging life

Is mingled with emergent death from seed

To soul in constant metamorphic strife,

The earth to tile magnetic sun replying.

Not one change but a constant synthesis.

Not one death is required but constant dying

In life’s eternal metamorphosis.

Think you we are immortal, you and I?

Only as we die . . . as we die.


Dorothea Spears


                The Key

We cannot purchase peace with all our gold,

For cash is not the coinage of the Mart

Where such commodities are bought and sold.

Cash is not the coinage of the heart

And force of arms is futile to release

The energy of synthesis to bind

The disparate factors in a common peace.

Or love to reconcile the disparate mind.

Mankind will never reach his destined goal

Till man has learned to merge his small ideal

Within the mighty concept of the whole,

Through transient seeming sensed eternal real.

Here is the key to peace and sanity

-      One God, one goal, and one humanity.


              The Launching

So often beauty takes us by surprise.

The lovely moment flashes unaware

Across our quiet unexpectant skies

And leaves us breathless as we stand and stare.

The day September took her leave was bright

With unaccustomed sun, and folk came down

To Zeekoe Vlei in indolent delight

As nature smiled, who did so often frown.

Forget of all controversial things,

I watched them launch Pygmalion's new-made boat:

I saw her come to life, and spread her wings,

And join a flock of pelicans afloat.

And none but she took flight and flew away

Across the broken surface of the Vlei.


Dorothea Spears


                  The Law

There are many laws, but only one Law,

Ineluctable, irrefragable and just.

Man’s sovereign and God-given duty is to see

That man-made laws with Law are in conformity

For only as man’s little laws interpret Law

Shall they be valid when the final force of man

Is superseded by the energy of God.

For man-made laws made counter to the Law’s decree

Shall be of no avail against eternity.

Who falls upon this Stone shall surely broken be:

On Whom it falls, he shall be crushed to dust…

And the Kingdom of God shall be given to another Nation.


               The Liberator

Do not hate him when he teaches you

Detachment, my Theophilus. when he,

Through his unkindness, sets your spirit free

From earthly ties to anchor in the blue

Of open skies.. And if he be untrue.

−Despising all you prize, can you not see

That pain can force the door of liberty

And push the disillusioned spirit through? −

 

Be grateful when he drives your spirit forth

From false security of earthly love

To higher consciousness and wider skies.

Adjust your compass to the spirit's North,

The Polar Star, and strongly rise above

Emotion's bondage, tolerant and wise.

 

Dorothea Spears.

           27/10/59


         The Light Within

Always there is singing; there is light.

Although the quivering silence be intense,

Domain of darkness brooding and immense,

Enveloping the being like a night

Bereft of stars and moon, bereft of night –

That inner eye can pierce the gloom and sense

The beauty of the spirit’s immanence

And touch the shining hem of all delight;

The singing, not of tamed birds in a cage,

But ecstasy of the ascending lark

With body, soul and spirit all aligned…

The light that has endured from age to age –

Behind the vast and unendurable dark

The radiance that all may seek and find.


“Veritas”

Constantia, C.P.


            The Little Wind At Dawn

The secret of the day

Is hidden in a veil of mist…

Who shall say

Whether it will be grey

Or opal or amethyst…

Or silver? None knows

Unless, perhaps

The secret little wind that goes

Silently through the sky

And blows,

As if in plat

A corner of the mist awry

And silently steals away.

 

“Veritas”

Constantia, C.P.


           The Long Journey

It has been a long time and a hard climb

Out of original ooze to the wearing of shoes:

Unfathomably long from slime to song

Inconceivably hard from bird to bard.

Traversing the kingdoms of earth through death and birth

Often we've had to retrace our path to the place

We took a mistaken turning, slow to learn,

Travelling over the face of time at the pace

Of Eternity, never knowing where we were going.

Have we reached the end of the journey, gone

As far as we can go? I don't Think so.

Perhaps our goal lies through a kingdom of soul

Still unexplored, half guessed, unmanifest.

But if we lose our way we shall have to pay

With blood and tears for another million years.


Dorothea Spears


             The Lost Nativity

What are you looking for?

I asked the old man with the shadow in his eyes,

Sitting in his chair and looking backwards,

Enveloped in an air of questioning surprise.

What are you looking for? I asked the society matron

So busy filling her life with festive preparations,

With unimportant things that look important,

To cover up the unforgettable separations.

What are you looking for?

I asked the merchant playing his paying part,

Surfeited with a superfluity of successful selling

That failed to fill the coffers of the heart.

What are you looking for? I asked the tense teenager

Rushing round and round in circles that have no end

And lead to nowhere, thinking to fill the hands

With brief excitements that only turn and rend.

What are you looking for? I asked the children

Precocious with this twentieth century, half-grown,

Unconsciously, intuitively feeling after the Father Christmas

Their parents have discarded and they have never known.

What are you looking for?. . .

The Spirit of Christmas that we cannot find;

We have mislaid it somewhere in the years behind

And cannot find it anymore

And yet . .  and yet . . . the Spirit of Christmas is here

And now.  It is only we who cannot see

The beautiful reality; standing in our own light

We lose the sense, the sight the consciousness of the Nativity.                 


Dorothea Spears


               The Lute

I heard a lute –

Like the cry of a lost love

It pierced the stricken soul on Night.

Her sigh ruffled the placid pond

And marred the image of the moon.

The lotus lilies stirred uneasily

And cherry blossoms drifted down,

Like innocent thoughts to earth,

And lay in the dust, broken.

I heard a lute –

My heart wept, silently,

For the sadness of longing unfulfilled;

For the loneliness of the world.


           The Magicians

All things live by magic, Lordly Man,

Who arrogates unto himself such power,

Could not keep earth revolving for an hour.

Should earth's magicians falter in the plan

Or fail to function, even for a span,

Man could not hold aloft a plane or tower

Nor make an infant, animal or flower;

Alone, is impotent since time began.

 

The season cycles, summer, winter, spring:

Seedtime and harvest; migratory flights;

The mystery of every living thing

The rhythm of blood and tide and day and night:

Is wrought and caught by magic in the ring

Of bright reality, and mocks man's might,


      The Marines at Hankow

The naval men treated the situation as a joke. One agitator in theatrical manner challenged the marines to shoot him. A bored looking sailor, strolled up and took him by the ear remarking, “You just hop it, matey!”

Thereupon the agitator ran off. Cape Times January 11.

 

We were anchored upon the Yangtse, when the Chinee saw things red

And started actin’ nasty, and we ‘ad t keep our ‘ead

With orders from ‘eadquaters not to ‘em taste the lead.

You should see us standin’ solid w’ere we landed at Hankow

With the yallow devils plaguing us like flies upon a cow,

And we could only swish our tail and stick their bally row.

They kicks up such a shindy wi’ their blinkin’ ‘eathen yell

That we can’t ‘ear to think straight – not to speak about the smell!

And all that we can do is grin, and wish ‘em all in ‘ell.

 

And while we were waitin’, one mad Chink climbs up on the wall

And shouts to us to shoot ‘im – like the ‘ero of the scrawl

But Matey cramps ‘is style a bit, up in ‘is front row stall,

And grinning like a Cheshire cat ‘e grabs ‘im by the ear

And shouts out, “ ‘op it, Sonny, we don’t want no corpses here.”

And, believe me, “Sonny ‘ops it and we fetches ‘im a cheer.

 

The ‘eathen took to throwin’ stones – just like their dirty trick –

And Tommy caught a yellow Chink a-heaving ‘arf a brick.

So ‘e tells ‘im soft and gentle, “you ‘ad better change your tack

Or you’ll get a blinkin’ whacker w’ere you ‘eathen pants are slack.”

 

But the Chinee went on ‘eavin yaller brother of Ol’ Nick.

So ‘e grabs ‘im by the trousers, and ‘e fetches ‘im a whack

That echoes down to Shanghai, and we ‘ears it coming back!

 

But we kept our blooming tempers though I’d call a man for less than arf of w’at them ‘eathen said, and leave ‘is face a mess,

I s’pose it’s good for character, and Gawd, but I’ll confess

I wus proud to be a Briten w’en I sees ‘em standin’ there

With orders not to fire a shot a-keepin’ on their hair,

And takin’ ‘eathen back-chat like they really didn’t care,

a-keeping cool, and grinnin’ like it was a bally play!

But I’d rather do my jolly fightin’ any ‘appy day

With guns and lead and bayonets, the good old-fashioned way!


        The Martin K. Hind

      (With apologies to Mr. Longfellow)

It was the weekly Outspan mag

       That’s read from sea to sea

That the father had given his pretty daughter

       To keep her quiet till tea.

 

Her eyes were as blue as the jacaranda

       Her cheeks like the dawn of day,

And her bosom white as the pig lilies

       That’ ope’ down Cape Town way

 .     .      .      .      .      .      .      .      .

 

“Oh father! I hear the sound of bricks,

       O say, what may it be?”

“Tis Martin Hind, he’s throwing them

       At romantic fools like me.”

 

“Oh father! I see superman

O say, what may he be?”

“Tis Martin Hind, who cannot stick

Absurd humanity.”

 

“Oh father! He thinks we’re all BFs.

O say, what may he be?”

But the father answered never a word

For he choked in his cup of tea.

 

The maiden clasped her hands and prayed

       That she might saved be

From supermen like Martin Hind.

       Who lives in J.B


        The Minor Poet

God of love, have pity

On one whom Thou hast curst

With insatiable hunger

And unquenchable thirst:

 

On one whom thou hast given

A flute he cannot play;

A burning love of beauty

His dumbness doth betray:

 

A soul that’s set for singing

And lips with scant refrain –

Dear God of love, have pity

Upon his easeless pain!


        The Miracle of the Vines

Man marvels that the Holy One of God

Two thousand years ago at Cana’s feast,

When manifested in the flesh He trod

The land that lies between the West and East,

Once telescoped the seasons to a span:

The seedtime and the harvest merged in one

And choicest wine from water firkins ran

Transmuted by the blessing of the Son.

Yet man, unwondering and unimpressed,

Watches these barren stumps drink up the rain

And swell to fragrant fruit, a surfeited guest

At Nature's feast, and calls for signs in vain.

Each year man sees the water turned to wine

And views unmoved the miracle of the vine.


Dorothea Spears


             The Mirror

Is it not strange to think this fragile glass,

This mirror, shatterable at a blow,

Before I was has seen my forebears pass,

Has seen the generations come and go.

And when I am no more it will reflect

As faithfully to those who follow after

Their images, nor ever resurrect

A shadow of my grief or rage or laughter


        The Missing Key

Life imprisons all, but gives to each

Five master keys with which if man be wise.

He can extend the level of his reach

And unlock doors that give on Paradise.

 

I had not known the heavy doors of night

Could prison one in darkness so profound

And solitary, when the key of Sight

Is useless and he has no key of Sound

 

I had not thought, before, how many doors

Within the house of life are locked forever

When one has lost the key of Sound; what stores

Of common treasure he can rifle never,

 

Shall we not grieve for him whose lost key bars

Some door that gives men access to the stars?

 

Dorothea Spears


(There will be a street collection for the deaf today.)


              The Model

Slowly parting the purple curtains of the night,

Day comes tremulous, shy and half ashamed

Of all her lovely nakedness, and clasping tight

Her pale grey draperies of clinging mist.

Reluctantly she mounts the dais and falters framed

Against the verdant hangings, virgin, white,

The clinging scarf unloosed: then by the great Sun kissed

She blushes roseate, and stands erect.

With softly quivering breast. All beautiful and bare

She poses for her lord at high noon’s tide …

Evening falls, and drooping wearily, unchecked

She draws her draperies round her and a tear

Reveals the delicate pink of flesh. Then, dewy-eyed,

She slips again into the curtained night.


           The Need For Dark

Be wary of the light

At the onset of old age,

We need the dark for dreams.

A street lamp’s neon glare

Nags all night at the brain

To rub the nerve ends raw.

Restless, I pick old scabs

To find them wet with blood,

My thoughts twist in the light.

Lost images emerge;

I rocked you in my womb –

What gives you comfort now?

The blessed dark, you said,

And turned aside to sleep

Sure of my watchful care.

I hang new blinds to shield

The windows of my mind:

My eyes search in the dark.


             The Need of Friendship

There is but one thing that I lacked

To make my happiness complete,

So many various joys had packed

My life to make it full and sweet.

And then you came, God-given friend,

Uplifting, understanding, wise;

And life was perfect, naught to mend-

It was too much like Paradise.

They say that life should never be

Too happy. So a cloud arose

And separated you from me-

A line of poetry turned to prose.

As who has tasted longs the more

For that which he has proved sweet,

So lacks, more poignant than before,

One thing to make my life complete.

 

Dorothea Graham Botha

The Epworth Press 1925


              THE NEUTRAL

One there was had fallen among
thieves—

(I think his name was Poland, but
no matter)

They left him well-nigh dead and turned to scatter

Among themselves his children and his sheaves.

But some who saw them set upon the knaves.

Who turned and broke their cudgels on new heads—

Now far and wide the desolation spreads,

And many valiants fill untimely graves

Were it not better these Samaritans

Had left the helpless weakling there to die

And kept their homes intact the same as I?

To give one’s life to save another man's—

It is not practical ... Was I not wise

To pass by quietly with averted eyes?


DOROTHEA SPEARS.

   

        The Old Love and the New

My old love robed herself in white

At Christmas time;

In snow and sequined rime,

With diamonds that glistened bright

And scintilled in the light

Of that far northern clime.

My new love goeth garbed in green,

In summer dress:

Then shall I love her less,

That rubies deck her gown terrene?

Shall emeralds and summer sheen

Bring less of happiness?

For my white love I shed a tear-

My love of yore-

Then turn to new love’s lore.

And she shall teach me Christmas cheer:

Not that I hold the old less dear,

But love the new love more


          The Old Town House

It has the still serenity of one

Who’s not surrendered his integrity

To that dictator, Time; now bowed the knee

To this new god that desecrates the Sun

And bids men neither stand nor walk but run;

To this Baal men call Efficiency,

And sacrifice the truth that makes them free,

The silence in themselves where peace is won.

Time’s underlings, the Hours, have called in vain

Their urgent tunes: these walls cannot forget

More leisured measures, and these halls retain

The tempo of that stately minuet.

Within this courtyard ghosts of peace remain

And Time has signed a truce, unbroken yet.


23.11.55


         The once familiar spirits:

Forgive me, spirit of the mountains.

Forgive me, spirit of the earth.

Forgive me, spirit of the sky.

That I, who have been blessed from birth,

Should cease to see your beauty, passing by.

Forgive me, spirit of the garden,

When I've not heard your poetry of birds,

Have missed your melody of flowers

Because my head's too full of practical words,

Because my days are never full enough of hours.

Forgive me, spirit of the silence,

Harbourer of peace,

When I neglect your once familiar way,

Reject your swift release,

And in betraying you, myself betray.


Dorothea Spears


          The Onlooker

      (At the Outspan, Stellenbosch)

Sitting quietly here behind my book

I watch you as you pass and re-pass

In ones and twos and threes and fours … You look

Natural, made-up shabby, smart, shy.

Assured, full of the zest of living, tired

(At nineteen, twenty?) Unloved and desired.

I watch you as you pass, on foot, in car,

On bicycle, or scooter, flashing by –

I look at you, and love you… as you are.

How very young you seem, how very dear!

 

How many of you wake? How many dream

That manifested things are as they seem?

Some of you will sleep your life away,

Eating and drinking and duplicating

Your physical image, swayed by love and fear

And hate, and never know for what you’re waiting;

Happy enough, and good enough, let’s say,

But never imagining the depths and heights,

Never seeing reality at stake;

Speaking your piece according to your lights…

But for this lifetime you will never wake.

Are you the lucky ones… or those who find

The heights and depths beyond the mortal mind?

 For some of you, unwitting, will attain

To fuller consciousness, will wake and learn

Through suffering, through hunger and through pain

The meaning of reality; will burn

The bridge that binds you to return…return…

And earth will hold its hands to you in vain.

I look at you and wonder what life holds

For each of you, what sorrows and what joys,

And how you will re-act to broken toys –

And though I know that only suffering moulds

The perfect clay, my foolish heart goes out

To shield you from the heartbreak and the strife

That flays and wounds and wakens you to life.

 

 

You happy ones who loiter two and two

With starry eyes – what does life hold for you?

You pass, unconscious of the love I bear

To you, and you, and you… and how I share

Your heaven, though I know how very frail

Is love’s young dream to weather old life’s gale.

How weak of me that I should want to pave

Your path with dreams, want desperately to save

And shelter you from life’s remorseless heat,

The loneliness of failure and defeat,

Although I know that you must surely go

Through fire and ice until you learn what each

Accomplishes, and what it has to teach

If you would reach the predetermined goal,

The summit from which man can see the whole

Of life and what it means and what it is…

Should I not rather wish you strength for this?

For here is peace that only pain can give

When life has learned that dying is to live.

It is because I know how life can hurt,

How wounds too often opened leave a scar;

That suffering and pain can make – or mar –

That happiness can beckon like a star:

That only you can choose how you will use

The triumphs and disasters on your way

(For most of the experiences life loans

Can serve as stumbling blocks or stepping stones)

 

So I, who love you, give you this to keep

That you be not afraid to wake from sleep,

To suffer and grow, for at the end

Your deepest pain may prove your dearest friend.

 

But luckiest of all are you who find

The secret of self while you are young,

That constant Light illuminating mind

And heart and body, as the sage sung;

The constant immortality behind

The forms of brief mortality that hind

The spirit to the flesh upon the wheel

Of life, and from the symbol real to real.

 

And some of you will learn eventually

To use the power of silence and of thought…

But these are truths that you will not be taught

In classrooms at your university.

You’ll cross the threshold of the unknown years

Tradition-tied, unhumble, knowledge-bound,

With blissful ignorance – but capped and gowned.

Anticipating what? It disappears

If you have not been tutored to transmute

Your knowledge into wisdom, or refute

The personality’s insistent claim

For wealth and comfort, happiness and fame.

And if you spell success with L.S.D

Or with renown, and win your desire

Untempered by the purity of the fire,

Untested by the fury of the sea,

Unconscious of your kinship with the sun –

What will your life be worth when all is done?

 

I, who love you, give you this to hold,

Who had it from the messengers of old

As well as from the Messenger within –

That separateness is the only sin,

Unconsciousness of vital synthesis,

The individuality of soul.

For all man’s lonely misery stems from this

Refusal of the parts to make a whole.


          The Ordinary People

We are the ordinary people…

You think we do not care,

Eating and drinking too much ourselves,

That others’ cupboards are bare.

If you could tell us a feasible way

You would find us ready enough to share.

But we are not prepared, we say,

To toss our hard-won winnings

Into a melting pot to be frittered away

Or watch the delicate colours of life

Diluted for all to a common grey.

We are as conscious as you, my friend,

Of the bleak injustices men bear

But shouting will not bring an end

To injustice, nor despair.

Give us an architect, a plan

On which to build, a blueprint made

To house the world and shelter Man-

Then you would find us unafraid

And ready enough to dare.

Don’t make any mistake about it –

The ordinary people care.


Brownwich Farrm House

Titchfield

Hants PO14 4NS


           The Ostrich

Great ungainly thing –

You cannot put him into rhyme

Because there is no rhythm

In his stride.

He wobbles-

                   Thus-

                 From side 

                 To side;

His lanky neck outstretched-

And on the farther end is perched

                     A tiny head.

It always makes me think about

A crooked question mark.

Vile tempered, cow-hoofed creature;

Tiny eyes

That gleam maliciously …

… And feathers fit for queens!

Ah well, fine feathers do not make fine birds,

      The ostrich is a gawk!


The Passing Of A Year

Speak softly … Death is here…

To-night the Old Year dies.

No more the miracle of dawn shall come

For him, nor shall he see the great sun rise

The world around; nor hear the happy hum

Of homing birds … He shall not see the skies

God paints at sunset… Day shall find him dumb.

The dark priest, Midnight, waits to close his eyes,

 

And shrive the passing soul…

About his bed

The ghosts of vanished years in silence wait

To lead him to the regions of the dead

And hear how fares our little world of late.

And some wear wreaths of laurel on their head,

And some have bloody hands, and gnarled with hate.

The priest comes nearer by a step : the end

Draws on apace … Forgive me if I shed

A passing tear – The Old Year was my friend.

He gave me much, and much forgave. He led

Me tenderly, broke naught I could not mend…

And yet you found him ruthless in his tread?

But hush…the bells are tolling…

                Speak not ill of the dead


              The Pattern of Spring

This is the pattern of Spring:

Sap rising, burgeoning

Leaf, colour, scent;

The sound of birds singing,

Flinging a mantle of song

Over the lawn and bringing

Delight in winging flight

To eager dawn.

Winter went

So softly no one heard -

Only the flower and the bird

And the grass and the trees,

And the doubting clouds that leant

Against the sky, and night,

Perhaps, who heard the cry

Of birth from travailing earth,

This is the pattern of Spring:

The beauty and joy and mirth

And pain of awakening.

 

Dorothea Spears


        The People’s Welcome

Young Prince, the people welcome you, from kopje, veld and town,

People of many colours – white folk and black and brown.

Our names may not be mentioned when you meet the land’s elite,

For ours are but faces that will line your every street.

And if we lack decorum, we’re sure you will not wince –

For it’s just a loyal welcome to the people’s royal Prince.

 

                             .      .      .      .

No doubt you will meet us at the Dinner or the Ball;

You may not see our faces in the great Reception Hall,

Buy you’ll hear our high cheers ringing as you pass along your way,

And you’ll know we are your people, and you’ll know that

We shall pray

When we see your grey ship anchored ‘gainst our Dawn’s first rosy tints –

Not just “God bless the Prince of Wales,” but this:-

“God Bless Our Prince!”


             The Pharisee

The Lord of the World came to South Africa.

“What have you done with my dark-skinned children,” he said,

My backward ones, who have so far to run?

Have you taught them to sow and reap; make their bed

The modern way; to spin the silver thread

That keeps them clad; to lead as well as be led?

In brief, have you taught them to take their place in the sun?”

South Africa confidently shook her head –

“But we have given a Bible to every one!”

(With a useful story of Man underlined in red.)

 

“Veritas”

Constantia, C.P.

News Report : Plans are being made to provide every South African home with a Bible.


         The Pigeons

Strutting all about my feet

As I walked

Up the street

Underneath the oaks, and through

The Avenue –

Pigeons, proud and unafraid

And very fat.

And that,

I thought,

Is how God made

His world to be –

Unafraid

Of you and me.

Alas…

 How seldom does it come to pass?

 

Oaklands

Newlands AveThe Poems of Dorothea Spears


             The Poet

I, that men call a poet,

       What am I?

Only a voice for your longing,

       A breath for your sigh;

A reed to sing your sorrows

       And be laid by.

 

From hearts with sorrow wrung

       I catch the tears

And give to each a tongue.

 

Unwitting I must share

Your every loss.

Some portion I must bear

       Of every cross.

 

I wonder if the harp’s strings

       Ache with the pain

Of the player as my heart trembles

Under the strain?

 

These are not mine, these yearnings

       That hold me long-

My heart is broken only

To sing your song.

 

I wonder if the viol      

       Sometimes tires

Of playing, as I of singing

       Your mute desires?

 

These are not my griefs I’ve known

       That I must sing

And feel – they are your own!

 

For I, that men call a poet,

       Sad and shy,

Am only a voice for your longing,

       A breath for your sigh;

A reed to sing your sorrows

And be laid by.


            The Poet’s Craft

Practice your craft every day

They say,

So I sit down each night

To write

The song in my heart.

 

But the song that I sang with such joy

Is a ploy

As I strive to perfect

The effect

Of the words of my art.

 

And the rhythms I wrote with such ease,

Just to please,

Are teased to a style so complex

As to vex

The hope in my heart.

 

So the pattern I wove in my head

Is quite dead

When it comes to the page,

And I rage

At what craft has not done for my art.


Feb 87


       The Polar Bear In Heaven

They say that animals

       When they must die

Can never go to Heaven –

       It’s a lie.

 

I know because I saw

       Up in the cloud

A great big Polar Bear –

       He looked so proud.

 

Just where the clouds were brightest,

       There he stood;

So I know bears go to Heaven

       When they’re good.

 

And if bears go to Heaven –

       Why I know

That dogs and kittens must-

       Don’t you think so?

14-1-27                                               D.G.B


           The Pretender

Now half the oak trees think they've seen the spring!

The delicate prunus suddenly blush and glow

Even the willow buds are burgeoning.

And gardens white with drifts of almond snow

The orchards hesitate by the winery  −

Foolish ones to be deceived each year

To putting on their gossamer finery

Believing the rumour that the spring is here

Because a day or two the sun is sweet

And soft winds whispering their amorous lies

Awake desire that sends the sun to meet

The summer innocent, unweather-wise.

Only the skeptic poplars undeceived

Await their season, patient and unleaved.

Dorothea Spears


          The Price of Peace

Blue in the distance dream the silent hills.

No thing disturbs their mute tranquillity;

Perfect philosophers; nor good nor ills

Upheave their bosoms’ smug sterility;

Nor rain nor shine, nor blight nor blinding storm

Can waken them to laughter or to tears.

They have found peace. No beauty can transform

Their rigid features through the changing years.

 

Yet once within them flamed a mighty fire;

They seethed and glowed and teemed with restless life

As burns within my heart this fierce desire

As rages in my breast this mortal strife.

 

The flame is quenched now, dead, and they are old –

Must peace only come when the heart is cold?


           The Price

What does it cost to be a queen

And live in a palace, fine and tall?

All the hours that lie between

The sunrise and the moon’s fall.

 

What does it cost to be a queen

And wear a jewelled golden crown?

All the thoughts that lie between

The sun-up and the moon down.

 

What does it cost to be a queen

And sit upon a regal throne?

All the loves of life, I ween:

For a monarch stands, at last alone.

 

What does it mean to be a queen

And keep a people hale and whole?

Everything that lies between

Desire and the Spirit’s goal.


             The Process

Does the clay welcome the wheel that turns it,

Spinning and sloughing and shaping the perfect bowl? −

Does the porcelain welcome the oven that burns it,

Firing its weakness into a tempered whole?

Does the marble welcome the tool that shapes it,

Chipping and hewing to set the spirit free

Until the hidden form within escapes it

And stands revealed for all the world to see

 

Does the seed welcome the soil that takes' it

And buries, and Into ultimate beauty wakes it?

Without the process even the fairest vase

Would never quit the clay,  unseen, unknown:

And all the glory Greece and Rome was

Would still lie hidden in the broken stone.

Lord, let us not forget, who dare aspire,

When on the wheel of life the form is caught  −

To welcome the wheel, the chisel and the fire

Since only thus is lasting beauty wrought.


Dorothea Spears


           The Rarer Air

Now we become aware how petrol fumes

And smoke pollute the purity of the air.

We even legislate to eliminate

The vitiating factors, to repair

The irreparable damage of an age

That sells its birth right, wastes its heritage.

We become aware of the price we pay

To mechanise mankind, and strive to find

Alleviation, that we may bequeath

The coming generations air to breathe.

But we are blind and deaf to the part played

By the individual emanations of mind

And heart that permeate the atmosphere

With love and hope or hate and greed and fear.

 

Airlie Close

Constantia C.P.


         The Rationalist

To rationalise

I was taught in my youth

Is the process by which a man

Persuades himself

Of the logic and truth

Of what he desires to do

So he can.

 

Airlie Close

Constantia C.P.


        The Riddle Of Life

Man lives his little span, to pass

From unknown to unknown sphere:

Nor can he fathom from this mass

Of evidence why he is here

Nor what he is, nor whence he came,

Nor whence came that which made him so.

That God, that Power – whatever name

He calls it by – whence does it flow?

 

No beginning … and no end –

Yet untold worlds revolve

With life no mind can comprehend

Nor Science nor Religion solve.

 

With pigmy wings and puny cries

Man beats the bars of ignorance,

Unwilling still to realize

The ego’s insignificance

He pits a Darwin against God:

He analyses with such pain,

And from a known and measured clod

He seeks to raise up Life again.

 

Poor fool! Should even this be done

He’d be no nearer, at the last,

To knowing how it had begun

In the unimaginable Past:

Nor why, nor by what fateful Power

It came, nor whence that Power derived.

The riddle has no clue. The hour

Runs out … a man has lived and died …

 

With all his knowledge knowing not

What Life and Death is, how, nor why;

Unknowing ought of this strange plot

Except that he must live, and die.

World after world …son after son…

So it was always, so it must be –

Unterminable, unbegun,

Unthinkable Eternity.


         The Role Of Spring

She, then, whom we call Spring, is no magician.

She can create no single shining flower

Nor bud nor blade nor leaf; her single mission

To waken with her smile the dormant power

Within each sleeping root and bulb and tree;

To quicken into life the potent will

To beauty and immortality.

She can create no single daffodil,

Already is the flower within the seed,

As is the God in every soul of man:

To call it into blossom is the need,

The smouldering, immortal spark to fan.

 

‘Twere no ignoble role to play the Spring

To Man, and stir his soul to blossoming.


         The Same Difference

Could we but recognize

That we are different

And that we should be different;

That in our difference lies

No worse nor any better

(As one word is no better than

But serves a different need

The same as any letter)

Then might we be agreed.

When each must prize

His special virtue, minimize

The virtue of his brother;

When each one's wisdom seems to him most wise:

And when the judgment magnifies

The faults we choose

To criticize

We can't conceive what happiness we lose −

Striving to recreate each other.

 

Dorothea Spears


           The Same Infinity

Whichever way we turn stretches infinity.

We fling our consciousness across the starry space.

We seek to span the inconceivable gulf of time.

Backwards . . . forwards:  even the present moment's mime

Offers a mere facade, a make-believe embrace.

Or, inward turning, if we seek divinity

At circle's point we stumble on infinity.

Backward. forward, in and out, above, below . . .

We cannot find the ultimate virginity,

Nor to a conscious ultimate ending can we win.

We lose ourselves at last beyond where the mind can go.

Yet, backward or forward, or outward, or within . . .

Striving in opposite directions . . . even so

Seeking, seeking ever, dimly we discern

It is the same infinity to which we return.

 

Dorothea Spears


        The Search-Lights

Within the realm of Nyx, come acolyte

Of Mars the long-awaited sound has caught.

Like fencers for encounters eager sought

The watchers have unsheathed their blades of light

And pierced the silken mantle of the night.

The keen, metallic blades, unbending, taunt

 

Cross and re-cross in ghostly silence, fraught

With menace for the interloping flight

They probe the farthest corners of the dark,

Night’s treacherous cloak concealing the approach

Of brutal, winged Death that hums on high,

Until each gleaming blade achieves its mark

And pins the alien plane, a silver brooch,

Against the frightened bosom of the sky.


           The Seekers

We woo . . .   pursue . . . our whole life through

But never win perfection . . . never.

And some are false and some are true

To what they see: some stupid, and some clever.

But true or false do any find

Or touch or hold the ultimate star

For which their dreaming was designed:

However high they seek, however far?

The love we touch by touching tarnished fades

However much we strive

To keep the brief unbearable light alive:

The source of light evades us . . . and evades

The flower we bought . . . the bird we caught -

They held a lingering perfume, lilting song,

But they were not the thing we sought:

They only held the thing - nor held it long

We seek the Sun itself, and think we trace

The image bright beyond compare

In many a bidden place and hidden face

But it is never really there.

However fast and far we run -

We catch reflections but we never catch the Sun.


Dorothea Spears.


                The Seer

                   (CJR)

He spoke in terms of Empire, it is true.

He thought in terms of empire, but his aim

Was not an island's glory or her fame,

Nor yet the wealth or power that might accrue.

He shaped the means to fit the end in view.

He was a piece in the eternal game

Of evolution; Out of time he came

And empire was the biggest thing he knew.

 

He glimpsed the blue-print of the Great Design

Of synthesis. Perhaps too soon or late

He set himself to force the hand of Fate.

It is not strange that those who glimpse no line,

Whose highest thought aspires to me and mine,

Remember him with unforgiving hate.


Dorothea Spears.

(Matopos.)


        The Silent Visitor

Someone has passed this way of late to still

The eager laughter and the joyous song,

And scattered grief and sorrow all along

His sombre way. Still dwells the voiceless chill

Where he has passed and paused awhile to fill

Bright eyes with stranger tears; and break

the strong of heart. His shadow lingers on the throng,

Though he has passed again beyond the hill.

He makes no sound. I know where he has trod

Because joy withers underneath his feet

And hope grows pale before his icy breath.

They say he leads the way at last to God,

But soon or late he comes to every street,

This silent visitor whom men call Death.


                  The Simple Things

It’s not the fine, high-sounding things

That win their way into the heart;

But when the soul of the poet sings

Simplicity embodies art.

The finest canvas ever hung

Will never thrill beyond the eyes;

But just a baby, flowers among,

Will move the soul to rhapsodise!

The grandest sermon ever heard

Will win the plaudits of the day.

But ‘tis the simple, love-spoke word

Will turn the sinner from his way.

 

Dorothea Graham Botha

The Epworth Press

1925


             The singer

“Why do you sing?” I said, “Why do you sing,

Walking along the long road by yourself?”

“I sing for the joy of the thing,” he said,

“That is deeper and stronger than sorrow,

And because the faces of men are sad

Perhaps if I sing they will borrow

A lilt from the lay I leave in the air -

On the way they may walk tomorrow.”


Dorothea Spears


The Song Is Ended

(L.C. Dec ’36)

The song is ended. Put away the cello:

Relax the bow and lay it close beside.

This music, with the pages turning yellow,

And this quite new, and some not even tried …

Gather it all together: stack it neatly.

Pick up the resin. Lay the mute away

And lock the case, for she who played so sweetly

Will not be playing any more today.

The brief sweet song of her so soon is ended,

And though we clap our hands and cry Encore!

She’ll play no more to us whom she has friended,

For Death has written Finis to her ecore.

 

She’ll play no more to us, but we her comrades,

Must go on reading our appointed parts:

But till our own Finale sinks to silence

Her melody will linger in our hearts.


The Song Of A South African

It’s a beautiful land, a glorious land, a wonderful land,

this land of ours:

With azure skies as blue as the skies of only a Southern

land can be,

Majestic mountains in purple haze; the pine and the

shimmering silver tree,

And round and round our wondrous Cape the swell of

a southern sea.

 

It’s a glorious land, where the far veld rolls to the still

of the might grey Karoo,

Where the aloes lift like spires of flame in the days of

never-ending blue;

The open road and the open heart, in a land where

Hearts are true.

 

It’s challenging land, where the grey Vaal flows

Forever in search of the restless sea,

Where the earth is veined with shining gold and the

hosts of hidden treasures be,

Where all the world holds an open door, and the souls

of men are free.

 

It’s a beautiful land, where the Drakensberg lift snow-

Crowned peaks to a brilliant sky.

And over and into the Christmas land where East

meets West and the palms rise high,

Where the warm sun woos in ardent love, and the

Ships of a realm go by.

 

It’s beautiful land; the tropic East, the smiling

Cape with its azure dome,

The grey Karoo with its flaming spires; and never

the hearts of its loved shall roam

From this wonderful land, this glorious land -South

Africa, our home!


                       THE SOUTHEASTER.

Hark, I hear him coming back again.

I see the rustling leaves where he has trod.

And in my garden now the tall flowers nod ;
They hear him coming, too, a-down the lane.

He’s nearer now, he rattles at the pane
And tugs the careful curtains on their rod.

The flowers lean closer to the friendly sod,
Affrighted at his rollicking refrain.

Ah, now he casts his caution to the sky.

And sweeps across the garden with a shout!
The stately pines bow low as he comes by;

The gentle leaves are rudely put to rout.

The wretch ! We like him not, the flowers and I

We give no welcome, but he comes without!


          The Star Of Bethlehem

I am Victorious! This purging flame

That threatened to consume my peace of mind,

Has merged into a star, by which I find

The Christ of Bethlehem, for aye the same.

This raging flame that burned with such a fire

Within my heart, and filled me with unrest,

It has become a light within my breast

To purify and purge and lift me higher.

I would not have the contest less severe;

I would not lose one throb of sad-sweet pain,

If I could live this pulsing time again –

For every throb has made my peace more dear.

And bound my soul more firmly into Thine

By this pure earthly love, Oh Friend divine!


        The Sudden Ray of Sun

When winter holds the earth and storm rides high –

From out the sullen all-pervading grey

How beautiful the sudden shining ray

That flashes for a moment and is by,

Reminding us, though hidden from the eye

By lowering cloud that darkens all earth’s day

Where warring elements hold bitter sway,

The sun still holds his lordship in the sky.

Sometimes, swift walking in a city street

On business bent, or in a crowded hall

An unknown face has flashed a smile at me

And suddenly the day has been replete

With sunshine and I know that back of all

Man’s clouded thought still reigns divinity.

 

Cape Times 31.7.52


               The Ultimate

Beyond us, always, is another door…

The thought that ultimate God can be confined

Within the concept of a mortal mind

Is ludicrous. We reach the farthest shore

Of matter known to man ; uncover lore

Of Ancient wisdom; everywhere to find

But manifesting of some Cause Behind…

Nor ever reach circumference or core.

 

We split the atom and dissect the clod:

And though with mentally enlightened eyes

We span the universe and chart the skies

And bring to life the seed within the sod;

Beyond, within, our utmost thought there lies

Unknown, Unknowable, Transcendent - God.


         The Ultimate

Soul cries out to soul

Across the intervening barrier

Of alien thought

And of inalienable flesh.

In vain I beat upon the door of words.

I strive to scale the steps of understanding,

To gain an access to the plot whereupon

Another builds his house.

Alas,

Love is the only way

To unlock man to man

And even so can open but a window.

The last impenetrable fortress of myself

Remains inviolate.

I cannot, though I would, surrender it

To any mortal siege.

And God, who made the soul impregnable

To any power save His,

Will not assert His own prerogative

To force entrance,

Soul cries to soul

In unavailing perpetuity…

Until at length, enlightened, searching self

Cries out to God alone

And is at rest.


         The Ultimate Beauty

There is no definition of beauty, none

To satisfy the ever questing heart.

Like God himself, this attribute is one

Which can be comprehended but in part.

Unfolding consciousness expands and goes

Through opening portals. each of which reveals

New vistas and new doors. Experience knows

But cannot catch in words the truth it feels

The beauty of all beauty's so intense,

So far beyond the limits of the mind

Though impact comes through every quickening sense

The ultimate beauty man can never find.

For be man great or small or young or old

His mind can only have what it can hold.


             The Ultimate Sanity

Are you not joyful when a fellow mortal

Ascends some pinnacle beyond the reach

Of ordinary men; unlocks some portal

Hitherto fast-barred, and through the breach

Reveals new vistas opening to man,

Celestial and terrene; or brings to birth

Some haunting beauty, some immortal plan –

Are you not joyful for our common earth

When we can sip the nectar of the sky?

And if men call it you or I or he

Who fills the cup, what matter? You and I

And he are an inseparable we…

Are one within that vast and ultimate sanity,

The knowledge of the oneness of humanity.


           The Un-nostalgic Lover

Am I an ingrate, then, who cannot thrive

On scenes nostalgic conjured from the past?

Am I unnatural who know each live

Expanding moment greater than the last −

Who worship at no dim ancestral fire

But find the living flame on every earth,

Unblinkered by remembrance or desire

Accept each beauty at that beauty's worth?

Who joyously, but with unfettered mind

Home gladly here with quiet, flight-poisoned wings

Yet keep the heart-strings loose lest they should bind

Myself to outgrown customs, thoughts, and things?

For not alone does she look back, Lot's wife,

And forfeit thus the new and greater life.

      Dorothea Spears


        The Unacceptable Prophet

                        (JCS)

There was always distance in his eyes

From walking such upon the heights alone,

And sweeping seas and mountain tops and skies,

And far horizons of vast unknown.

His little people could not understand

The devastating vastness of his vision.

He saw the world. They only saw their land.

They spurned his wider wisdom with derision.

Upon his Sinaitic Peak he saw

A new far horizon and greater goal,

The process of universal law,

Of healing, making holy, making whole.

But in our valley, with a viewless verve.

We built a little golden calf to serve.

 

Avondrust Cottage

Klein Constantia Rd, Constantia, C.P.

May 1964


          The Undefinable

Why must man define the undefinable

And mutilate the mystery of metaphor?

A living person cannot be reduced to paper,

Produced in canvas, marble, bronze or clay.

No more can literal lines or words confine, much less convey

A living truth, an infinite dimension.

The vastness of immaculate conception,

Virgin birth, baptism, crucifixion, resurrection and ascension . . .

The wine transmuted into blood, the bread made flesh -

We lose the secret hidden in the symbol

When we reduce the symbol to a word, a fact, an act.

We lose the living meaning of the Word defined

Dissected, analysed, reduced to grammar

And mercilessly pinned against the mortal mind.

Can we imprison the livingness of love in a word or a deed?

Can we manufacture a living rose - or even a living seed?

Dorothea Spears


         The Unfailing Star

The star shines on as in days of old,

But we, with doubt-dimmed eye, pass by, nor heed

The promise in its rays of glowing gold

That seek to pierce our growing gloom of greed.

So was it even in those olden days:

The heavens were aflame with shining light,

But men, unheeding, held their common ways;

The Wise Men, only took the path of white.

 

And so today amidst the strain and stress

Of our discordant life some wise men see

And seek to follow it through all life’s press

And find the living Christ. I, too, would be

One of the wise men, following afar

The guidance of our Faith’s unfailing Star.


              The Violets

What shall I tell you – that the trees are bare,

The air is hot at noon and cold at night,

The August full moon bright, the Cape so fair?

Or shall I tell you that the violets

You gave me once, a dozen years ago,

Are still so full of fragrance, still so deep

In colour, standing tip-toe still to show

Above luxuriant leaves; that I still keep,

Through various vicissitudes, the strain

That bloomed along your paths when you were here?

Do you remember how they used to fill

The August air with such a heavy scent

That we were well contented just to sit

In silence, drenched in the perfume of that bloom

Drifting through the windows, through the room,

Through the cottage? Another continent

Has claimed you now, another hemisphere,

And other seasons. Do you remember, there,

How fair the Cape was in that other year,

And the scent of the violets? Do you still care?


Airlie Close

Constantia, C.P.


The vision

(In Memoriam – J.C.S.)

May 24th, 1870

We have not forgotten. Deep enshrined

Within our hearts the mighty vision lives,

The vision of the Whole toward which mankind

Inexorably moves, which focussed, gives

A meaning to the Universe, a goal

Towards which creation works with tireless urge;

The tendency of life to form a whole

In which the pieces of this puzzle merge

To form a pattern in a pattern… so

The pattern will evolve to synthesize

These warring elements. This way we grow:

This way eventual consummation lies.

To ever greater whole life gravitates

Where wholeness, healing, holiness awaits.


                         The Visitor

                  (From the Persian)

I sat in the doorway, reading the words of the Master.

The sun was troubled by encroaching cloud

And the air a presence of disaster,

And in the sky the pattern of a shroud

How best to right the rhythm  Man had broken?

And what the mantric words that should be spoken

I pondered thus beside the garden door.

And silently beyond all mortal seeing

A hand was laid across the taunted strings

And harmony vibrated through my being

And peace that was not borne on earthly wings.

 

It was the master, standing by my chair

Against the doorway, healing my despair.


Dorothea Spears


                  The Visitor

I met a 'stranger in etheric space'

Pacing through the planet where the race

Of men, immured in mortal bodies stays.

He gazed amazed, and turning his head said

(In astral language, of course) Pray tell me, friend,

Why these peculiar, often beautiful~ bipeds spend

Their little lives of little nights and days in such peculiar ways.

Everybody always seems to be either doing what you call killing, spilling

What you call blood (which seems to be your symbol of life),

Racking your planetary body with futile strife..

Or else seeking something nobody ever seems to find.

What are you looking for?"

"The alchemists of old

Thought it was gold, I said, "that they could hold,

Or the elixir of life, or the fountain of youth

Or Grail or goal, Samadhi, or ultimate truth,

A Word, a living Light . . . I only know

It's something that Adam lost a million years ago.

Haven't you heard the fable?

And ever since then Cain has been killing Abel


                    The Way


The way that was taken is taken

It isn't any good, now, saying

“If I had taken that turning

At such and such a corner,

Discerning

The unseen bend

Beyond the third tree,

That altered the end -

If I had gone that way

The day I came to the fork in the road,

Had turned to left or right,

Or chosen that companion to walk with me -

I should have travelled farther before night''

You can’t turn back the hour hand of the years

Or the minute hand of the days

On the clock of time,

Nor unchoose chosen ways


Dorothea Spears


Theophilus Overcoming the Wheel of Rebirth

What shall I say to you, my love, who shed

No tears? How shall the unwatered plant survive

The mortal years? Fears fall dead unfed.

And love unwatered - will it last alive

And thrive and bear the mortal blossoms men

Desire in mortal gardens? The ear hears

When it has lost its sensitiveness, then,

And only eyes incapable of tears

Can see, one said. Before the voice can speak

Above it must have lost the power to wound . . .

It is to speak with Masters that you seek,

To higher cadences you would be tuned?

Impervious alike to joy and pain

You’d stand. But mortal flowers need sun and rain,


Dorothea Spears


              Theophilus to His Son

Is not separatism the ultimate evil,

The basic error, the sin against love

Whose property and end is synthesis?

Herein is summed all prophecy and law −

To love the Lord thy God with all thy heart

And mind and soul, thy neighbour as thyself.

Analysis is proper as a means,

Not as an end. Never forget, my son,

All harmony is in the eternal One.


       Dorothea Spears


           There Is A Loneliness

There is a loneliness

That is not a loneliness for kind,

Not a loneliness of heart

Nor of the mind.

This loneliness is of the soul

Sequestered in a separate form

And longing for the Whole;

The loneliness of the glow

Imprisoned in a lamp at night,

Knowing itself to be

A part of all Light.


19.03.53


           There Is No Song

There is no song but shall outlive the singer.

There is no wrong but shall be shrived at last

However the unrelenting finger

Of shadow pointing darkly to the past.

There is no gift but shall reward the giver, no love but shall return a thousand fold;

No rivulet but flows into the river

And hears at least the ocean’s secret told.

There is no soul but shall possess the future.

No furthest goal beyond the nearest reach;

No parting of the everlasting suture

Uniting God and mankind to each other.

 

Should he be satisfied with earthly things,

Who is created with potential wings?


          There Must Be a Purpose

There must be a Purpose somewhere.

Otherwise

This universe . . . this body . . . make no sense.

There must be a reason in the recompense

And energy expenditure that ties

The equilibrium this world relies

Upon, infinitesimal, immense;

Some pattern showing whither, where, and whence.

And knowing the whens and whys or fall and rise.

 

There must be, somewhere, a cartoon to guide

The weaving of a tapestry so vast.

Working blindly from the underside

In masses and colours inexorably fast,

We must believe, to live and work with pride,

Some planned perfection will appear at last.


Dorothea Spears


           There’s still an England

Thank God there's still an England - miles and miles

And miles of England - forests, valleys, hills

Moors and parks and stately homes; and stiles.

And hedgerows full of blossoms; daffodils;

And nightingales and skylarks, and the song

Of thrush and blackbird; swans that sail like ships

On placid waters; evenings soft and long;

And ancient low-browed inns to wet the lips,

And fields and fields of corn, and pastures lush

With vivid green, and comfortable kine;

And miles of trees and rivers, and the hush

Of twilight . . .  fruit of apple and of vine . . .

- Miles and miles of England still, thank God.

And Englishmen to till the English sod.

      Dorothea Spears


                     These Days

We tread the beautiful familiar ways

Of dappled days.  How slender is the; thread

On which this beauty hangs in every head'.

And who can say how long his trio plays!

Together, Body, Mind and Soul, how long

The tautened strings will hold the tune; that sings

The individual Creation song

For each of us, or what tomorrow brings?

Now consciousness is constantly aware

Of the ephemeral quality of things,

The temporary soar of temporal wings

In transitory time that mortals wear.

Before each beauty now I stop and stare

And listen and absorb and taste and feel

Lest I should waste the beauty time will steal

Inexorably, none know when nor where:

Lamenting, for the loveliness of days

The meagerness of muted mortal praise.

Dorothea Spears


           These houses

These houses flesh and bone

Or brick and stone

That shelter us

And that we call our own -

What part of us are they

Or we of them

That shield us - or betray?

Looking at them thus,

Detached, do we form them . . .

Do they form us?

Dorothea Spears


       These Precious Hours of Peace

These beautiful hours

Untouched by terror and unstained by hate

Where buds still blossom into flowers

Under friendly skies that do not harbour death!

Do you not know how precious these hours are

Beloved? Do not mar

Their brief perfection by your frosty breath.

Tomorrow some unanswerable Fate

May force this planetary gate

And at a blast release

Upon our world marauding hordes that' wait

To slaughter peace.

Tomorrow may silence the singing of our birds

And rape the budding flowers

Beloved, let us not shatter these' fragile hours

With ugly words.

              Dorothea Spears


           These Twain Shall be One

                          To FS

Heart of my Heart, we know not whence

       We came, nor why, nor where we go;

Nor for what merit or offence

       Our questing lives are ordered so.

 

Only we know that from your birth

       And mine (whatever birth may be)

As YOU and I we paced the earth

       Till YOU and I were merged in WE.

 

In Life’s unmeasured crucible

       Where God’s mysterious work goes on,

Before the white-hot flame of love,

       We two were welded into one.

 

No more separate entities

       We journey, fearful and dismayed:

As one we meet the Mysteries

And Face the Future – unafraid.

 

Mrs D. Spears

“Oaklands”

Newlands Ave

Newlands


               They say

They say that Beings from the Outer Space

Are beaming rays of light upon the earth

To hasten evolution of the race

Preparing for another, greater birth.

They say that man is standing on the verge

Of such a cataclysm as will shake

The world he knows, from which it will emerge

As from a chrysalis and new forms take.

They say the work of demolition done

The period of transition safely passed

And unimaginable beauty won

Creation consummates a Man at last.

They say immortal man shall cleave this clod

An epoch nearer to the Mind of God.

Dorothea Spears


            “They Twain Shall be One”                                           

(Written to my husband, Frank, on the occasion

 of his 28th birthday, August 4th, 1933)

Heart of my heart, we know not whence

We came, nor why, nor where we go;

Nor for what merit or offense

Our lives are ordered so.

Only we know that from your birth

And mine (whatever birth may be)

As YOU and I we paced the earth

Till YOU and I were merged in WE.

In life’s unmeasured crucible

Where God’s mysterious work goes on;

Before the white-hot flame of love,

We two were welded into one.

No more as separate entities

We journey fearful and dismayed;

As one we meet the mysteries

And face the future - unafraid.

           Dorothea Spears


       Things of Which to Beware

Half-truths, more dangerous than lies;

Weeds that masquerade as flowers:

Facts so masked that they disguise

Their real identity, even from the wise,

And arrogate unpossessed powers.

 

            This Adolescent Present

Tomorrow is only yesterday with whiskers,

And yesterday’s tomorrow at the breast

Imprisoned in the adolescent present

Man makes the pilgrimage from east to west,

From dawn till dusk. Tomorrow never comes

And yesterday is never now or here:

The world is never toothless.     

Ruthless Time dictates the nightingale and chanticleer

There is no yesterday and no to-morrow…

The world is never old nor ever young

In our experience. We have but heard

The sons of Eden and Apocalypse sung.

To-day can only hold to-day in its hand.

The rest is hearsay… who can understand?

 

          This Art Needs Solitude

If we could wander lone like Wordsworth’s cloud,

Commune with Nature unassailed by Time,

Perhaps upon our page the thoughts would crowd,

And images approaching the sublime.

If we could climb the heights of silence, bold

Against the solitude of flaming sky

Perhaps we too, the vision might behold,

Might catch a glimpse of Greatness passing by.

If we could discount Time and seal the hour,

Could loiter where the singing winds have trod,

Perhaps we too, might pluck the spirit flower:

Perhaps we, too, might hear the voice of God.

For even in the noisy ways of life

We glimpse the glory, sometimes, through the strife.


Veritas

Constantia


          This Is An Age Of Conflict

This is an age of conflict.

Is man it’s victim or its instigation?

 

The energy engendered is the mind

Is so potential that the heart is shaken

In contemplation. The possibilities stagger the imagination.

Think! Is Man the co-creator

Caught in the web wrought of his own thought?

Think!

Even the seasons are uncertain.

Unruly clouds do battle in the skies

And whirlwinds take their toll of life

Violence seizes portions of the earth

And shakes them as a terrier shakes a rat,

Mercilessly, setting

Mammoth tidal waves in motion,

Stirring sullen depths of unexploited ocean.

The bitter breath of winter breaks and blights the land,

And parching drought, and devastating flood,

And fire out of hand.

Animals run amok, and sharks grow bold.

Lawlessness and violence and accidents

And murder multiply, and strife

And suicides are rife; and little wars

Break out like running sore

Across the body of the earth.

And all the while the mind of Man devises

Mightier destruction and wonders with surprise

The violence by violence begotten.

Reflected on our roads and in our skies.

 

Airlie Close

Constantia, C.P.


       This Is What New York Said To Me

I met New York on Fifth Avenue

At 28th Street, on a Saturday morning

When March said goodbye.

The wind had scarce discovered it was Spring

But the sun knew it was April.

 

And what did New York say to me

That April day?

She sang.

She sang a hymn of praise.

She put into words of concrete and marble and stone

the dreams of the men who planned;

The toil of the men who laboured to make the dream come true;

The skill of the men who built and knew that it was good.

I heard it all as I paced the unbusy street

And my heart was uplifted within me

Because it was a good song

And the words were clear.

But when it swelled to the climax,

When I came to the Channel and looked West –

My soul took off its shoes.

 

The tulips in the garden were lifting bright faces,

The fountains in the pools were lifting high voices

And that mighty dream in limestone,

Radio City

Was raising its stones to heaven

And shouting praise to God.

And I was lifted out of myself

By the volume of the song.

 

I know not if the men who dreamed

And planned and executed

Knew that they were writing psalms in stone,

That they were praising God –

But all their work was shouting “Hallelejah!”

        .     .      .      .      .      .

And afterwards, inside that vaulting hall,

I heard the organ and the singers

And the dancers, and it seemed to me

They too, were praising God

In the beautiful rhythm of the Terpsichore.

For surely who aspires to perfection

Aspires to God,

Whatever name he gives to his creation.

 

Perhaps I was lucky.

Perhaps it was only the day or the time of the year.

Perhaps if I go again it will not be so.

But this is what New York said to me

That Saturday morning when March had said goodbye

And the wind had scarce discovered that it was Spring.

But the sun knew it was April.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


           This Loveliest Cape

Familiar beauty never stales for me,

-      If any beauty can be said to be familiar,

When each little new-born day

That shapes it differs in some subtle way

From every other day – nor fails to free

The folded wings of immortality

A little, pinioned by this mortal clay.

Beauty always has so much to say

That repetition cannot dull nor sight

Betray her words, that run the range of light

From hour to hour and day to day and year to year,

In star and flower, and far and near,

In seas and mountains, trees and fountains, flight of birds, and changing skies, and day and night.

Each repetition makes more clear and dear

This manifested beauty now and here.


         This Only Do I Ask

This only do I ask of Death –

 Rest – from interminable words,

  Disputant men and dogs and cats,

   The noisy bickering of birds.

 

This only do I ask of Death –

 Not that sweet music wrap me round,

  But that there shall envelop me

   A silence that surpasses sound.

 

This only do I ask of Death –

       Complete surcease from sound of strife,

         For Silence, and that quiet Peace

          Which I have asked in vain of Life.

 

Newlands C.P.


          This Shall Remain

What is man that Thou should’st mind his way?

-Nothing but a model from the sod,

A fairly fashioned bit of earth, a clod;

A pretty image from a lump of clay,

Allotted such a span of work and play

As pleases his great fashioner, his God

Who rules his puppets with an iron rod

The while it suits His pleasure. Then – decay.

 

Decay…an earthy clod…and dust again.

 If this were all ‘twere scarcely worth the strife

To keep alight the flame that men call life.

But when all else is gone, this shall remain –

The breath of God, which man has named the soul

-This shall remain, and justify the whole.


           Thought and Word and Deed

How can love and hatred occupy

The same dimension without rending apart

The fragile fabric of the human heart,

Without the one giving the other the lie?

Words are nails we use to crucify

Defenceless love; a word a poisoned dart

To start a festering wound that all the art

Of Aesculapius cannot put by.

 

And what are wars but words manifest,

The unforgiving hatreds of mankind

Converged and merged and into being brought?

None is guiltless who harbours hate in the breast:

War is born in the heart and bred in the mind,

The deed that follow the word that follows the thought.

 

Airlie Close

Constantia, C.P.


      THOUGHT FOR A MOONLESS NIGHT

Flamboyant Autumn puts a nip in the air
And startles the summer swallows into flight.

The pyracanthus berries burning bright
Against the hedges flaunt their flame and dare
The riotous redhot pokers to despair.

And overhead the crystal clear delight
Of winter stars against a moonless night
Compels a wondering world to stand and stare.

You worlds a million years of light away—

Do you know cycling seasons? Does your Spring
Revive a rested earth from Winter’s sting?

Does Autumn paint your hills and valleys gay?
Or is your beauty one we cannot sing.

Who know the mortal meaning of decay?


         Thought For Dark Days

I do not know why suddenly the sky

Is overcast, and why the blessed sun

Is darkened and the pathway overrun

With shadows past lights but intensify.

Across the face of heaven storm rides high:

The birds that late were singing one by one

Are silenced, and Earth’s robe of peace, late-spun,

Is rent by Tempest’s talons hem to thigh.

But of this one thing I am utterly sure:

Whatever darkness fall, whatever night –

The causes are all earthbound that obscure

From earth the blessing of the source of light.

Whatever clouds of storm the heavens fill

The glory of the sun is constant still.


           Thought for Goodwill Sunday

                             (March 3rd, 1946)

To celebrate the supper of Our Lord,

To drink the wine, partake the broken bread

Come, gather ye about the blessed Board

And eat and drink with Him, as he has said.

 

But wait… If in your heart be any hate

Or any unforgiveness, leave the plate.

 

Go forth unblessed, but dare not defile

This cup with hate-contaminated lip!

Go forth and with your brother reconcile

Before the blood of God you dare sip.

 

Or to your own damnation do you drink…

Himself has said it… Stay your hand and think.

 

“Oaklands”

Newlands Ave, Newlands, C.P.


          Thought for Meditation

Three words there are that spring from one root.

When man has solved the secret of' their flowering

Men shall taste the sweetness of their fruit.

A trinity of words, a cryptic key for man and men and planet peace empowering.

Heal and whole and holy . . . one in three.

 

20/11/57


         Thought Of You

As soft as the mist

Stealing down the hill

to keep its tryst

with autumn: as the dew

unheralded and still,

condensing, cool and kind …

Is the thought of you

in my tired mind.


      Thoughts For Union Day

I

Our trouble is that we’ll not bury our dead.

The odour of corruption taints our days

From putrid corpses of old words long said

And rotting carcasses of ancient frays

Wherein resentment’s maggots thrive and grow

To winged hates, contaminating all

They touch; and fear, that poison deadly, slow,

Injustice – spreading, floods the mind with gall.

 

Come, let us build a mighty funeral pyre

Upon this Union Day, and free our lives

Of ancient ill, and fear, and fan the fire

Until no maggot-breeding thing survives:

Then hand in hand, in sacrificial mood

Re-dedicate us to the Common Good.                                        


II

I think it takes big men to rise above

The pettiness or personality.

I think it takes great vision, broader love

To stake this span of brief mortality,

Submerging self to fit the Master Plan,

In greater loyalties the less forgot:

Subjecting love of men to love of Man

That seeks to know not Who is right, but What.

 

Small souls, afflicted with Myopia,

Who cannot see beyond the expectant near,

Can never glimpse that bright Utopia

Beyond their puny dykes of hate and fear

With which they strive to stem this breaching sea,

The evolution of Humanity.

 

“Veritas”

Constantia, C.P.


            Three o’clock

Three o’clock in the morning, or thereabouts,

When the sap of life is lowest and sleep at bay,

When mind becomes a prey to creeping doubts

That seek an entrance between the night and the day;

When the sign of water would quench the sign of fire . . .

The minutes pause in their urgency of flight

And the moon is dark, and silence deep with desire

And thought is unobstructed by sound or sight . . .

The heart can open the portals of despair

When will is weak, for things undone or done,

For unlaid ghosts are always waiting there

Where the traffic of day is ended and not begun.

And yet, to him who can transcend the power

Of earth the hour can open into a flower.

Dorothea Spears

 

 

           Through A Glass, Darkly

Amongst a multiplicity of mirrors I revolve.

I turn this way and that, and catch a brief reflection

In every looking glass, seeking to resolve

The problem of the personality’s imperfection.

For each man sees his world and all that walk therein

But in the mirror of his individual mind:

What every man is now and will be and has been

By each is shaped and typed and coloured and confined.

I see a strange myself in every different eye,

And in my own, for each man has his reckoning rod,

Creates, according to his glass, his earth and sky,

His biased history, his unfamiliar God.

And man will never understand the Whole

Until he transcends his mirror and sees with the eyes of the soul.


Airlie Close, Constantia, C.P.


           THROUGH SILENCE

Sometimes I think if we are very still
Within ourselves, emotionless and clear.
Converting all the being to an ear
Intent on listening ... had we this skill...
Then we might hear the breathing of the hill.
The breathing of the valley... we might hear
The subtle singing of the atmosphere
Interpreting inexorable Will.

Alas! Too close to the environing clod.

We cannot even understand the trees
Who gossip day-long with the unseen breeze.
And yet I know Man will not always plod—
Some day our ears will be attuned to these
Now mute immutable syllables of God.


           Tightrope Walkers

Come, beloved, let us stretch the cord

That lies across the vision of the word…

Tauter… tauter… tauter. Let us dare

To walk the tightrope of the quivering air,

Not looking down, but straight ahead to see

The distant goal of immortality

For you and me, and being one for me

And you. So gossamer the thread we tread

Suspended over such stupendous heights

Who knows what heights and depth? Or what the lights

That beckon us below, above, ahead!

And who shall say which light more dangerous is

To those who seek to bridge the earth’s abyss?

Attention falter not nor flesh distract –

We yet may cheat oblivion in this act.

 

“Veritas”

Constantia, C.P.


                Time

The time that is and the time that was

And the time that is to be -

An ocean flowing incessantly

Around and in and over me.

Sometimes I feel that if I had a ski

Time would lift me and I would ride

A wave from crest to crest and reach the shore,

Exalted with the exhilaration

Of wind and tide.

But other times I have cried

That the Sea is dragging me down,

That I am overwhelmed by time

And like to drown

In the ocean that rolls relentlessly

Around and in and over me.

Time that is and time that was

And time that is to be.

And then I know what saints and sages

Meant who spoke of God as the Rock of Ages.

Dorothea Spears


          Time for a Birth

Creation and destruction meet and merge

In every kingdom; life and death deploy

Their forces in the unrelenting urge

To make and mar; to fashion and destroy.

The synthesis that carries evolution

Through all the painful processes of growth

And birth and rebirth, seeking its solution,

Is under the dictatorship of both.

And so with man . . . if worlds emerge as willed

The old must be destroyed to shape the new

There must be some to demolish, some to build…

But the rhythm of time and place is sensed by few.

Yet here's the secret of evolving earth-

To know the time for a death and the time for a birth.


            Time for a song                                                     

Today I will sing for the joy of the thing.

I’ll share the air with the bird on the wing . . .

I’ll share the sky with the clouds and the rain,

Knowing tomorrow will follow today;

That blue is hiding behind this gray.

I’ll share with earth the knowledge that Spring

Waits to be wakened to join in the lay,

Waits to be wakened, nor waits in vain.

When day’s too heavy and night too long

That is the time, my heart, for a song.

I’ll share humanity’s laughter and pain.

Dorothea Spears

           31.5.1973


         Time for rejoicing?

Why do you sit so silent in this breast

Oh Heart, with joyful Easter drawing near?

“Can mankind stand this searing searching test,”

Said Heart, “when this Gethsemane is here?”

New Calvaries are dark against the sky

And Judas, Pilates, Peters play their part

While you and I stand by and watch Him die

What room's for Easter in a fearful heart?

Dorothea Spears


          Time for Song

Sing … I will sing for the joy of the thing,

Sharing the world with the bird on the wing;

Sharing the sky with the wind and the rain,

Knowing tomorrow will follow today,

That January is hiding May;

Sharing with earth the knowledge that spring

Waits to be wakened to join in the day

Waits to be wakened, not waits in vain;

Sharing all human joy and pain.

When day is too heavy and night too long

This is the time, my heart for a song.


B.F.H                      19.1.73


         Time Knows

One who has encountered it will not forget

The Mona Lisa smile upon the face of Time,

Whatever sun may rise or set,

That says "I know . . . I know

Mocking..  wise.

Whichever way we turn, however go,

We glance across our shoulders into those inscrutable eyes

In fleeting greeting spanning the years

That lie ahead and the years that lie behind

According to our reckoning:

The sealed and unsealed days

That we call yesterday, today, tomorrow; forbidding, beckoning:

 

The sealed and unsealed ways

We know as present, future, past,

Designed for indivisibility at last

A still serenity upon the brow

Of an eternal now

Beyond the consciousness of separative mind.

Inscrutable Time, I cross myself, and bow.

But someday, seeking, I shall find

At the end of some interminable mile

The secret symbol of your enigmatic smile.


           36.10.1961


        Time To Be Still

Shall I never have time to be still again?

 

Down in the Woods there’s a whisper low

Where the pine trees talk of the long ago,

And the sky squirrels chatter as they play.

But one must listen to the live-long day

To understand what the grey squirrels say;

And one must have leisure to lie at ease

To make a close acquaintance with trees.

Down in the Woods the wild things throng;

The forest is full of chatter and song –

But I am busy the whole day long;

Busy with helpless, trivial things

That must be done, though an angel sings.

 

Shall I never have time to be still again?

 

Down in the Woods, the quiet shade

The birds hold converse, all unafraid:

The rivulet gossips of grotte and nook

Where the mountain disas lean to look

At shy reflections in crystal brook –

But one must have time to lie and dream

To understand a bird or a stream.

Down in the Woods are visions new,

And Song and Story and Dreams -come -true

But I am busy the whole day through.

Old Duty forbids me to tarry there

And stops my ears with the fingers of care.

The forest calls, and calls, in vain-

 

Shall I never have time to be still again?


         Time to Stare

O Time, stand still! The earth has grown so fair

I cannot compass it with mortal eyes.

The canvas is too crowded – seas and skies

And mountains, spring and autumn, everywhere

The beating heart of beauty is laid bare,

And I am breathless as each colour cries.

For every season, as the shuttle plies,

Is weaving wonder for the world to wear.

 

At every turn of the way I am aware

Of new dimensions, shaken by surprise

Of sudden suns that set new saps to rise …

Sometime, sometime perhaps I shall not care

The swiftness of the eager earth’s replies –

O Time, stand still, and let me stare and stare!

 

Veritas

Constantia, C.P.


          Time Waits for None

The time will come, when Love no longer litters

Careless largess on Life's casual beaches,

And when the dew of dawn no longer glitters

Diamond-glinted on the rides and reaches,

On spider-spangled woods and ways that glisten

Sequin-sown against the shining days.

And there will be no time to stop and listen

(Could we hear) Aurora's paraphrase

Of Nature's hieroglyphs that would unfold

(Could we but read) the meaning of the earth,

The transmutation of our lead to gold,

The innerness of life and death and birth.

The time will come when unexultant age

With tired hands, will turn the unread page.

           Dorothea Spears

              6.2.1965


         Time’s Slave

Time is a hard taskmaster.

The bright days come and go

And the woods are full of promise and dreams

That over flow

Like the Spring streams.

 

But I, at the tip of a whip

Flicked by unyielding Time

Dance to a sterner measure than this;

To a firmer rhyme

Than the wind’s kiss.

 

I think “Some day I’ll defy him.

This time”, but at heart I know

I haven’t the shining courage to linger

When Time says “Go!”

And snaps his finger.

 

Nor Time and his henchman, Duty,

Gather the purse-strings tight

And he who defies goes hungry.

And I,

Though the woods be bright

Rebel – and comply.


              Timely Tempest

Blow, wind, blow! Drive. incessant rain, and test

The fatal false security of premature Spring that covers our impoverish­ment

With brief unready blossom.. Quicken, ere it is too late, our ancient zest

For  justice − mitigate  our  cumulative thirst that hides beneath the surface with tempests heaven-sent.

We have need of a tempestuous gale

To blow the cobwebs from our self-indulgent soul,

To lash our latent longings to avail

And drive our dormant possibilities to that premeditated goal

For which we are created − the infinite well-being  of the vast indivisible whole.

God! Blow at our ears until we hear, our eyes until we see

The fatal limitations of our imbecility

Dorothea Spears


         ‘Tis Joy, Not Time Has Wings.

They tell me Time has wings. It is not so.

On leaden feet the lazy moments go,

     Fly swifter, Time; fly swifter on your way!

The moments lag along and halt and yearn

For that which will not come, with eyes that burn.

     Oh Time, fly on!  Why stretch each night and

              day?

With every moment I can but discern

That love is gone, and love will not return.

      Fly then, dull Time!  Since he comes not, why

               stay?

I ask each moment to make haste, and lo.

My only answer is remorseless no-

       Oh, heartless Time, to loiter thus and play!

But Time smiles sadly on his round, and slow,

“ ‘Tis Joy, not Time, has wings.   Did you not

         know?”


To A Fellow Exile

You’re hungry for good old New York,

Chicago, Washington

Or any place in God’s own land –

Here, shake: I’m with you, son.

 

-      Broadway nights and Brooklyn Days

For hands that grip like steel.

And men that look you in the eyes

And say just what they feel-

 

 

I’ve journeyed right from East to West :-

I’m fain to go again –

From Boston to Seattle, and

From Oregon to Maine.

 

I’m longing for the “Automat”

The feel of cents and dimes;

For sandwich (Club) and chicken (Fried)

Ah, those were good times!

 

You’re hungry for the Stars and Stripes

And all it typifies:-

I’m with you heart and soul, my lad,

Here, shake. (Confound my eyes!)


          To a Friend on her Coming of Age

There’s a world full of trouble and care around about you,

It gropes in the darkness of Fear,

But I know it would be more despondent without you,

And your irrepressible cheer.

And I dream that your Soul’s love shall never decay,

That year kindness will outlast this brief mortal stay.

 

It is Springtime and Nature’s no longer reposing

Her long Winter’s rest is now o’er,

And the bud’s shyly open, to see flowers disclosing

Their beauty for all to adore.

And ‘tis your springtime too, but the bud of your life

Needs must open upon a world’s malice and strife.

 

And yet hid ‘neath the leaf mould of sickness and sorrow,

The flowers of sweet nature still bloom,

And I pray that you find them, and happily borrow

A peace to dispel Earthly gloom

Better still, may you even be one of the flowers

To be only more fresh for disheartening showers!


To A friend seeking To Disparage

His Virtues

 In my hands you hold my faith in all:

Should you fail me, faith in all would go,

So deep in you ‘tis set that, once uprooted,

In no new soil could it be forced to grow.

For I believe in you as I believe

In beauty, and in faith, and in hope and in love;

As I believe man still retains God’s image,

And as I hold the souls is homed above.

Then, as you value my immortal soul,

I pray that you will disappoint me not.

For with my faith in you goes all my faith,

And life sans faith would be a sorry lot.

Then seek not to destroy my idol, friend,

Lest I should be found faith-less in the end.

 

Dorothea Graham Botha

The Epworth Press

1925


To a Hot Bath

Beautiful you are. You fold

Me in your warm embrace;

You comfort me against your breast;

My limbs with peace enlace.

 

Whence comes your limpid water? From

The sun’s kiss on the sea,

Or gathered dews of morning, cool

With pure virginity?

Of from some ravenous mountain stream

That feeds on new-born snows,

Or from some tree-loved meadow brook-

Whence it comes? Whither it flows?

From heaven, surely: some bereaved

Soft cloud has wept in white.

Perhaps ‘twas rainbow filtered in

Its sudden earthward flight.

 

When comes the warmth that tempers you?

From toil of man and God –

A thousand years of sun and rain

Imprisoned in a sod.

 

How many fertile brains have wrought,

How many minds have planned

To bring your healing beauty forth

At touch of mortal hand?

Who perfected your shining taps?

Who thought your clever drain?

Who dreamed in some inspired delight,

Your gleaming porcelain?

 

Men in the desert dream of you

In fevered dreams. They miss

Your warm embrace on wearied limbs

More than a woman’s kiss.

 

Newlands C.P.


                  To A Philosophic Friend

         (Who Urges Me to Deeper Thought in my Verse)

You write to imprison thought; I to escape it.

Your pen is your weapon: mine is a silver flute.

Words are your tools to seize on thought and shape it.

Words are the notes I play when the fiddle’s mute.

Words are the wings on which I soar to Heaven:

They are your armour, guarding you through Hell.

Beauty and rhythm to me are all life’s leaven –

You see? My opiate is rhyming. Well,

Where do we meet? I understand your striving,

But you won’t trust yourself to my silver wings;

And I will be no warder of words, friend,

Driving the thought to bay. No, mine is a muse that sings.

Go on with your philosophies, your trying

To conquer thought with the weapon that is your pen.

But mine is only a silver flute crying

From my heart to the lonely hearts of men.


          To a Veld Flower

What would you say, oh fragile flower

So short thy life, so swift thine hour –

What would you say, you modest bloom

Whose cradle is so close to the tomb?

What is the message you would bring

Across the hills from the land of Spring?

 

This is the message I bring to thee,

Oh slow of heart, couldst thou but see –

This is the message for which I came,

Writ in letters of gold and flame.

That beauty and love can wake from a clod

When touched by the wonderful hand of God.

                

               To Cage a Thought

O bird of thought that I have sought to hold,

Untamed one, come, till I have wrought a cage

Of words for you. I'll put it on a page

Of pure white paper like the sage of old.

Alas! I'm no artificer in gold

As he, nor lapidary; but engage

To fashion you a setting shall assuage

Captivity, and shelter from the cold.

thought uncaught that flutters to and fro

The unfenced boundaries of the brain at will,

Unseen by others, let me hold you fast

Till I have wrought a cage of words to show

Your form as I have seen it. Oh stay still

Till I have snared and shared your song at last!

Dorothea Spears


      To Each His Own Concept Of Beauty

There is no definition of beauty, none

To satisfy the ever-questing heart.

Like God Himself, the attribute is one

Which can comprehend but in part.

Unfolding consciousness expands and goes

Through opening doors, each one of which reveals

New vistas, further doors. Experience knows

But cannot put in words the truth it feels.

The beauty of all beauty’s so intense.

So far beyond the limits of the mind;

Though the impact comes through every quickened sense

The ultimate beauty we can never find.

For be man great or small or young or old

His mind can only have it can hold.


“Veritas”

Constantia, C.P.


          To Free France

One came to me and said

that France was dead.

I laughed and said “You lie.

France is immortal:

France cannot die!”

 

I weep for wounded France;

not hopelessly, as one who fears

that she will never more join the dance,

or that the heavy years

have conquered her eternal youth;

I weep, in truth,

But not as one bereaved. My tears

Are for the pain,

the mute, intolerable pain

of stricken France

bound to the conqueror’s wheel, bereft of shield,

with a broken lance.

 

But she will arise again.

Although betrayed within, without,

She will arise again, to flout

Her foe, and purge her of this stain.

 

Aye, weep for France, but not as for one dead:

For she will raise her head

Tomorrow, and triumphantly, cry

France is immortal:

France cannot die!”


             To Greece

When through the heaven Apollo drove the sun;

When Psyche with immortal Cupid wed,

And Diane from the Vale of Tempe led

Her love-lorn shepherd, fair Endymion:

When Venus queened, and Ariadne spun,

And Niobe her tears unceasing shed;

When deathless Echo from Narcissus fled –

 

A hero race beneath Olympus won

The god’s approval. But oblivion

Has long since buried them, the savants said;

That heroes and the gods alike were dead,

The glory that was Greece forever done.

 

But once again the gods have oped heav’n’s portals

To claim heroic Greece for the immortals.


          To Live My Life Again

“Ah, to live my life again!” I cried.

There entered and stood quietly by my side

A spirit form: he looked at me and smiled

Tenderly, as at a wayward child.

 

“I’ll grant your wish,” he said, “but first be sure

Of your desire before I close the door

And shut away the years that you have known;

The lessons you have learned, the things you own.”

 

He paused, and made to wave a golden bar

That would erase the years, the things that are,

And give me life a-new to make or mar.

 

“No, stay,” I said, “be not so hasty, friend.

Though I be old and getting towards the end,

Some things I’d like to ask before I go

Back that long lane. For instance, I would like to know

I have some friends whose love I treasure much –

Can you assure me in the new life such?

This love that sends a shining ray of sun

Right through the years – can I have such an one?”

 

The spirit smiled, and shook his head.

“I can assure you nothing, friend.” He said.

 

“I’m sorry, but I dare not risk these things,

Not even for the chance to reign with kings:

But can’t you just erase a year or two?

I’ve done some foolish things, as men will do.

I’ve made mistakes and – yes, I’ve sinned -I’ll say

It plainly without gloss. Come, take away

these years of which I stand in shame, and let

them be forgotten as I would forget.”

 

The spirit smiled again. The “Name the year,”

He sighed, “the memory that most you fear.”

 

I thought of that old sin that left its mark

Forever on my heart, and of that dark

Tempestuous time of doubt that tore my soul;

Of many foolish acts. I viewed the whole

Of all my faulty life, and sighed again,

Because I could not sacrifice one sin, one pain.

I could not spare one single sad mistake,

Or give up any throbbing old heartache.

For every doubt and sin some lesson taught,

And every grief and pain some peace had wrought.

Yes, every struggle, failing at the time,

Had worked somehow to ends that were sublime.

 

And so I cried, “Go! Take your wand of gold,

But leave my years to me, and I’ll stay old!”


To Mary Turner and Foster Bailey on their departure

From Cape Town

To have you here, to have been one with you

For even these few minute of this day

Of life – it has been good. Tomorrow, too,

We know that we shall meet upon the Way

Somewhere, somehow, smiling, knowing then

That we have met before and shall meet again.

 

Then go in God with peace… and if we do

Or do not meet again in form today

It matters little. Knowing this is true

“Goodbye” seems such a futile thing to say:

So I’ll not say it… just “may joy increase

In you and us”, and “Go in God with peace.”


            To See the Real

The literal mind's too little, too confined

To see behind the symbol to the real.

Our sated words are weighted to conceal

From superficial sight . . .  so sure, so blind

So short it must define the undefined

And indefinable. It must reveal

The unrevealable the heart can feel

But never formulate to fit the mind.

 

Why must we strive to shackle, pinion, bind

The wing whose power to lift the form to light

Can function only in unfettered flight?

Dear God: Preserve us from the literal mind

That must translate the senses into sight

And weigh the world in words, assayed and signed.

Dorothea Spears.


To Spring

 Spring is comin’; Can yo’ feel it

In the very atmosphere

In the sort o’ lazy sunshine,

An’ the clouds at seem so near?

All the birds is singin’ an’ the

Vi’lets bloomin’ ever’where:

Elixer o’ life, it seems like

Is a floatin’ in the air.

 

Tree is putting on their spring duds;

Women folk too. I see

Ev’ry kind o’ fangled bonnets;

New, or least pertend to be:

Coats o’ ev’ry kind o’ colours;

Mustard, Copenhagen blue;

Green, or any other shadin’;

Just be sure it’s bright ‘ll do.

 

Dandelions all aroun’ us

Yaller-headed, happy things;

Seem t’ make this whole place gladder

With the brightness that they brings.

Winders in the schoolhouse open;

Balmy breezes driftin’ through;

Makes me feel sort o’ sadness

As my thoughts fly off t’ you.

 

An’ sometimes it makes me joyous,

An’ I want t’ yawn an’ stretch,

An’ go wallowin’ in grasses.

Feel like a teacher is a wretch

T’ keep us in a day like this un,

When the sky, an’ birds an’ trees

Are a callin’ us t’ come out

An’ be comp’ny for the bees.

 

Spring’s an awful funny season

Don’ know how t’ take it, quite:

Sometimes make yo’ feel so lonesome:

Other times yo’ heart’s s’ light,

Feel like you could fly away off

If yo’ had but half the chance;

An’ sometimes yo’ can’t describe it,

Seems the whole world’s in a trance.

  

Dorothea Johnson


               To the Memory of A.J.H

                    An English Gentleman

No need of stone to keep his memory young,

Of edifice or tree,

He made his mark his fellowmen among,

In hearts of you and me.

 

Old Time can pass as speedy as he will,

But still we shall revere

That noble life. Tho’ years may pass, we still

Remember him – sincere!

 

Sincere was he in all he undertook,

And upright to the end.

His work is such that made his Maker look,

And Heavenly Blessing send.

 

No fame or wealth hid his ambition need –

No pomp or high degree.

But poor men weep, rememb’ring how he’d plead

That they might happier be.

 

How bitter can a life of man be spent,

Than lifting up his friend?

And often has his kindly hand had been lent

He gave it – to the end.


             To the Weather

     (With abject apologies to Shelley.)

Hail to thee, blithe Weather!

Spring thou’rt called in vain –

That from Heaven or near it

Pourest forth thy pain

In profuse showers of unpremeditated rain.

 

Raining still and raining

From some cloud it flowest;

Gala hearts a-paining

As full well thou knowest,

Yet blowing still dost rain, and raining ever blowest.

 

Waking or asleep

Still the rain doth teem,

Still the heavens weep

While of Spring we dream;

Oh how could’st thou produce this ne’er abating stream?

 

We look before and after

And pine for what is not:

Every roof and rafter

With thy rain is fraught

Our holidays are full of colds that we have caught.

 

Tell us, prithee, whither

As you plan the thing,

Inconsiderate Weather,

We may yet see Spring –

The World should carol then, as now I’m trying to sing.

       

      To Whom It May Concern − Whatever His

             Colour or Creed or Nationality

"Who shall say what is good for My people? Who?

Where is such a bold, presumptuous man

As thinks that he and he alone can span

The Mind of God and wield it − is it you?

Two thousand years ago My Word broke through

The hard hypocrisy that sought to ban

Inconsequential nothings, and to plan

The elevation of a chosen few.

It gave you Love to be the key, not hate;

Proclaimed the Sabbath made for man and not

The man for Sabbath; the goal not self, but others.

I gave you Oneness. And you separate

My word in little bits. Have you forgot

That in My Father's sight His sons are brothers?” − 

Dorothea Spears


                    To –

I have steeled my heart against you, dearest friend,

Lest I should be betrayed by my desire

Into believing death is not the end;

To finding warmth before a painted fire:

For fear my very need of you should lend

Verisimilitude to dreams and sire

A mort of ego phantoms that pretend

To come from you, and every one a liar.

 

So should you still be You now you have shed

The body that I loved, and should you seek

To pass the threshold once again, and speak,

You will not find it easy; for this head,

Knowing the heart to be too fond and weak,

Proclaims there is no traffic with the dead.


             Today

Why should I not rejoice today?

Having been born with a heart that sings;

Having been born with a heart with wings;

Why should I cage them and clip them and say

“Life is too serious, now, to be gay”?

What though I know that to-morrow brings

Death and disaster and desolate things;

What, though words and weather betray -

Should I not gather the flowers by the way?

What if tomorrow the world at my feet

Crumbles to dust - is today the less sweet?

The moon and the stars and the sun and the play

Of light and shadow, the laughter of May;

A song in the heart and a lilt in the feet -

What if tomorrow be liar and cheat?

Thanks be to God for today, for today!

           Dorothea Spears



               Tokai

Deep in the forest towering trees have rings

About their boles. Some eager morning I,

Seeking a freedom where the forest sings,

Will find an empty place against the sky.

And all the squirrels, and feathered folk with wings

Will cry to see the monarchs humbled lie,

Who must have seen so many lofty things

Standing so firmly tall, so finely high.

Let me not mourn them.  Progress is patterned there.

Rather let me joy that I have known

This leafy sky, this vastly pillared air,

These shady ways to share: have made mine own

The friendship of the forest; been aware

Of life and death, and found it very fair.

       Dorothea Spears


           Tom-Boy October

Tom-boy October’s come Southward again,

Ruffling the minds of conventional men;

Rude and unruly, the wind in her hair,

Smiling and pouting and devil-may-care…

Tom-boy October! And all down the street

The trees lean to greet her, and rushes the sweet

Scent of the syringa, of broom and of rose:

Tall yellow irises stand on their toes,

And myriads of gay young sweet peas scale the wall

To welcome October; the Foxgloves stand tall;

Seedlings leap up overnight, lest they miss

The thrill of the hoyden, October’s, rough kiss.

Back with the wind from the East and the South

She races, an impudent smile on her mouth scuttles

Laugh with her, then when the wind races by

And clouds are like a snowstorm storming the sky

This is no time to be prudent and sober –

Back to the South has come tom-boy October!


             Too Deep for Tears

There are thoughts which lie too deep for words;

And griefs too hard to be dissolved in tears,

Too bitter to be coated, like a pill,

With sugar for the swallowing; and fears

Too potent to be hidden by the will.

So we are silent. We do not weep.

So we bury thought – but the heart knows

And is appalled, watching the doors close.

 

To think a single gene of colour can seal

So many doors forever! Can this be real?

 

Airlie Close

Constantia C.P


                   Too Near the Sun?

Now one can travel anywhere by air

Within the day, the world has grown so small

That he who has the ready wherewithal

Can wrap it round him like a cloak. And wear

It with a swagger. If he has the fare,

And the key to open the door of each national wall.

However tall, any man can call

What tune he will, and sit in any chair.

Now distance is outdated. Day and night

Have lost their meaning. Autumn and the Spring

Are interchangeable. Dark and light

Are relative, and weight has found a wing.

0 Icarus - the triumph of this flight

(But Icarus . . .  why remember such a thing?)

-Dorothea Spears.


                Too tired

Do not bring me beauty now,

Nor music. I have had my fill

Of feeling. All I ask for now,

Is to be utterly still.

      Dorothea Spears


                Tot Siens

             (For Sirkar)

We always parted on a note of laughter,

You and I, nor ever said goodbye

With Sorrow for the empty morrow after.

Knowing the mime of time and the face of space

For the ephemeral images they are

We held division in derision. Why

Should I now cry, that you have hitched a star

And cut a chord that prisoned you in place

And journeyed suddenly, swiftly, may be far?

But yesterday we said, nodding the head

“We live on Eternity now” and laughed to feel

The truth that we had taught and thought and read

Was here and now and definite and real.

                   .                .                     .

The word of your death is music in the air

That’s bare of your flesh, but full of the song of you.

I will not weep, my friend.  See, I sing, too.

And touch the hem of the robe of light you wear.


             Train Journey

Travelling by train, great swathes

Of landscape obtrude the imagination

Until the eye, normally obsessed by print,

Is forced instead to rest upon the view,

Those muddy browns and greys and the bright

Splash of that incredibly fresh green

Which is the English spring personified.

Long lilting lines of hills

Gentle in the distance, ribbons

Of red brick make criss-cross patterns

And gap-toothed hedge

Straggles across the foreground

Like a frame uncertain of its purpose.

 

I think of last evening and the room

We sat in, peopled with landscapes

And one lovely nude, walking away,

The full-length figure of a girl

In flesh tones vibrant and compassionate.

I think of how a man’s life danced

Upon the screen, and I remember

Earlier in the week, walking

In Lowry landscapes in the street,

His stick-like figures crowding on the mind.

A man obsessed by loneliness, he painted crowds

That scurried to and fro and left him there

A lone observer of their eccentricity.

 

I watch my fellow travellers and my thoughts run on

Into the landscape.

        

              Transformation

Lucky are we who catch the moment of bliss

That flashes like a flame between time and time,

The turning point men nearly always miss

Between that and this, the changing of the chime;

The day between the days of winter and spring,

The moment between The moment of: sleeping and waking

Before we lose the nebulous feel of the thing,

The brief perfection between the dream and the making.

I intercepted one this very day -

An oak that was a winter filigree

Of interlacing branches stood by the way

When leaves were only a mist in the mind of the tree -

Yet that green aura enfolded it like a flame,

I stood entranced, and a season went and came.

Dorothea Spears


           Transition ?

There was a time, before it was the fashion

To discount rhyme and virtue, and depart

From old accepted disciplines of passion

And old established disciplines of Art.

A time when wrong was wrong and white was white

And men could understand a play, a song,

A picture: black was black and right was right

God was God, and love was high and long.

Then humankind was made of heart and soul

As well as mind and body. Then his reach,

When life had an acknowledged end, a goal,

Exceeded his grasp and gave a guide to each.

 

Perhaps it's time to turn another page

And learn new lessons for a new age?

Dorothea Spears


                 Trees

Let me have trees about me, steadfast trees

With honest root deep delving bouldered earth

Facing unflinchingly to the centuries,

Noble of stature, generous of girth:

Trees that have seen men born and die, and strange

Things come to pass; Trees that are unafraid,

That stand unchanging through the years of change

By the threats of Cronus undismayed.

Such are my oaks; so old, and far more wise

Than man, disdaining not the lowly turf

Yet reaching certain arms into the skies

To greet the sun as comrade, not as serf:

Born to the sod, but by the stars inspired;

By Gaea nursed, but by Apollo sired.


            Tribute To Greatness

              (Jan Christiaan Smuts)

                         I

Tis not for what you’ve done, but what you are

I make my proud obeisance at your shine-

That you dared to harness a star

And plough your furrow to the Great Design.

From your defeat you had the strength to snatch

The greater victory; forgetting spite

To clear your soul of prejudice and catch

The vision leading to the greater height.

Misunderstood by those whom you would serve

Who could not see beyond the present’s dole,

You tuned to listen every quivering nerve

The mighty heart-beat of the Perfect Whole.

 

You don’t belong to us: your tent’s unfurled

In Africa – your domicile’s the world!

 

 

 

                        II

You are too big for ordinary men

Impelled by ordinary hates and fears

To Understand.  You view the ultimate Then,

The goal across the intervening years.

You saw, beyond the borders of the State

(Those artificial barriers that blind

Small men) the working of evolving Fate,

The mighty empire of fulfilled Mankind.

Give me to stand a moment at your side

The while I trumpet Man to rise above

His race and creed and caste, and view the wide

And selfless realm of Universal Love,

With you, forerunner of the Age-To-Be-

The great Dominion of Humanity.

 

May 24th, 1950.


                  Tryst

When I am free from flesh, my dear, as you,

I know where we shall go, what we shall do.

Wherever there’s a garden or a tree

Surpassing fair there you and I shall be.

Wherever a small stream chatters through a dale

There you and I shall listen to its tale.

Where larches sway, and dog-eared violets peep

Our long-awaited tryst at last we’ll keep,

Nor watch earth-bound the singing skylark rise

But soar beside him in the vibrant skies!

Or on that mountain pathway that we know,

On which we used to loiter, long ago,

We’ll tread again the heather hand in hand

Needing no words, at last, to understand,

Knowing all beauty in the world to be

Our heritage – when I from flesh am free –

Standing as once we stood in mute delight

Against the sudden splendour of the height!

 

Airlie Close,  Willow Road, Constantia C.P. RSA


         Twilight Song

Suddenly, out of the twilight

A bird burst into song

And flooded the darkened sky-light

With sun for a moment long.

Then silence again, and darkness –

But where the song had been

Had gone the fear, the starkness,

And peace came trembling in.


‘Two Is Company’

What time o’ the day is the sweetest-

The sunrise, with glowings of gold?

To wait while the sun shreds the cloudings

And watch all its beauties unfold?

What time o’ the day is the sweetest?-

The sunset, with delicate hues;

Till colours of brilliancy, fading

Leave only the darkest of blues?

What time o’ the day is the sweetest?-

Nor sunrise nor sunset for me

Is sweetest. Just give me the moonlight –

And suitable company.

 

Dorothea Graham Botha

The Epworth Press

1925


                       Two Men

One man there was whom Death had marked his own,

Reprieved by Life to give a vision shape –

The welding of the desert and the sown

From central Africa to southern Cape.

As cells combine to form a greater whole

Of interacting parts, it was his theme

To build one empire with one mighty soul.

He left to us his riches, and his dream.

Another envisioned an exclusive State

Speaking a separate language, set apart

From other men, to mould and dominate

Its little world, with proud unbending heart.

 

In us today their spirits still contend –

                       Synthesize

To build apart; or to unite and blend.

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


        

© Rosalind Spears 2021